A challenge I had to face.
Have you ever been so stressed and discouraged that you just wanted to quit everything and give up? During a lifetime, people face many difficulties. At the moment, we feel exhausted and helpless but through those difficulties, we learn and grow. I had to face a challenge when I was sixteen, when I just came back from the United States. In sixth grade, my family and I left Korea for the U.S, and came back three years later. So I basically skipped Korean middle school curriculum but I never thought that this could be such a big problem for me. When I entered high school, it hit me. I used to go to a foreign language high school and the students were very competitive and prepared. High school curriculums were difficult to follow without the knowledge of preceding studies. Grades were poor, pre KSAT scores were terrible and I just could not see the future. It was not that I did not try, I did. But I just could not beat the ones that came prepared so well. As time passed, I felt more depressed and discouraged. Then one day, my English teacher came up to me and recommended preparing for university in my own way- to make the best use of my strength, English. Of all the subjects in high school, one that did not betray me was English. After that, I searched for the method that could suit me. I prepared for university doing things that fit my type of entrance. As I got many achievements like TOEFL scores and awards, I found my courage back. Now, I am a student at HUFS and I feel very proud to be a student here.
Hi I am Kim you jin.
ReplyDeletei was so impressed by your trouble at high school. you express your emotion well and your topic sentence contain main idea. however i think it will be better if you add some events because of your trouble, it will be more vivid. of course you represent your concerns, i think it's not suffient. for example, you can tell us grades or some accidents accured by those gap between others already prepared. you organized paragraph well by time orders. thank you see you!
Hello, this is Takgyun.
ReplyDeleteI could see your main point clearly. Your paragraph tells us the trouble you had when you were in high school. You explained the reasons, situation, and how to overcome the difficulty well. However, I can't find any specific details about the event. Every sentense consists of explanations but not any specific figures, descriptions or so. It would be better if you add more details such as how your grade was, what kind of accident happened, and how your teacher told you and so on. Thank you for sharing your paragraph and see you soon!