TV: Could you ie without it?
Nowadays it is very common to have television in one's house. Statistics show that almost everyone has at least one TV for a house in South Korea. However, I am not the one who cnnot live without this piece of inention. Spending more than two hours of watching television was not allowed for me when I was young, and I did not watch it during my high school period, either. Some people say that it is essential to have TV, or at least to watch it to follow up with the current world. They also argue that TV has many well-made programmes such as EBS lectures and many docomentaries. But there are so many other ways to subsitute TV. For example, one can read books or use Internet to get information, and he or she can read newspapers to keep in touch with current events. Moreover, the negative sides of TV--uprising violence throughout the teenagers or the lack of communication between family members, outweigh the positive sides. And that is why I believe it is able to live without TV. I, myself, is living without it right now, am having no difficulties to live a normal life at all, even better!
Hi. I'm Lee Myungjae. While reading your writing, I felt the flow was quite logical and rational, and I liked it. Overall, you seem to think that TV is not that useful and helpful for having a quality life. I particulary like the line that there are many other devices to substitute various functions of TV thesedays because it is very persuasive, and I agree with you. I didn't find any errors with your writing. However, personally, I have different opinion about effects of TV. I think TV provides many benefits despite its several disadvantages because, in many times, I find myself more motivated and encouraged by seeing awesome people appearing in TV talk shows or their documentaries. Moreover, unlike other small devices, I can enjoy them at ease with big screen and full audio. I think what matters is the individual capability of selecting good programs and managing times of watching them. Actually, I like watching TV, which probably makes different opinions:) Glad to read your writing. Bye~~
ReplyDeleteHello! I'm Takgyun. Reading your paragraph, I thought your writing was quite logical and organized well. First of all, you suggested the statistics, which allowed readers to be better convinced. Also, you added your experiences in accordance with the question which was asking about your own case. However,I was a little bit interfered while reading due to some typos.
ReplyDeleteI was quite surprised to find your opinions similar to mine. There are so many things which can replace TV and TV is not the only option anymore.
Anyway, I liked your paragraph! See you soon:)
2nd draft
ReplyDeleteTV: Could you ie without it?
Nowadays it is very common to have television in one's house. According to the current statistics, almost everyone has at least one TV for a house in South Korea. It seems like most people would not live without it. However, I am not the one who cannot live without this piece of inention. When I was young, Spending more than two hours of watching television was not allowed for me, and I did not watch it during my high school period, either. Some people say that it is essential to have TV, or at least to watch them to catch up with the current world. They also argue that the TV has many well-made programmes such as EBS lectures and many docomentaries. But there are so many other ways to subsitute TV. For example, one can read books or use Internet to get information, and he or she can read newspapers to keep in touch with the current events. Moreover, the negative effects of TV--uprising violences throughout the teenagers in the modernized world, or the lack of communication between family members, outweigh the positive effects. This is why I believe it is able to live without TV. I, myself, is living without it right now, and I do not have any difficulty living a normal life, even better!