'TV doesn't have big meanings for me.'
When I was first assigned homework, I just thought like above without any consideration for a moment. And It's true that I don't enjoy watching TV that much. But just because I don't enjoy it, saying just like that will probably make TV feel disappointed. Cause He do help our familly become more talkative and share ideas with each other. For example, when our family watch the program 'The Partner' which is real show for making couples, each of us personally think who looks good and bad and share our thinking. Because in ordinary days we're a little bit tend to feel reluctant and embarassed about talk boy and girl friend issues , I think this program really help in changing our familly atmosphere. Also After He upgraded from Brown tube to LED, our family come to get together and watch movies more often, which made us more harmonious.
So I would rather think he is really good friend not only for me but also for our family.
This is Sora Kim.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like this piece of writing is that you write a title. It shows what's the main point.
Your main point seems to be can't live without TV. But it was hard to find main point. You wrote 'TV doesn't have big meanings for me.' so I expected that you can't live without TV. But suddenly it changed, and finally you wrote 'TV is good.' I think this way is fresh and interesting. But you have to use this way better, because it was confusing me.
I like first sentence because it makes more real.
'But just because I don't enjoy it.' I think you should change this sentence. It's not clear. And last sentence 'So I would rather think he is really good friend not only for me but also for out family.' You could change this sentence much easier and more simple.
Hi this is Kahee Lee.
ReplyDeleteI have alomst the same opinion about TV, so I could really agree and sympathize with your story. But some of the sentences feel a bit awkward becasue you personified TV. However I thought that such writing was very interesting.
Hello this is Dana from your class.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writingis the specific details you stated. By giving the exact name of the show and situation your family has, it was easy to visualize the scene and understand your argument better. Your main point seems to be that television is a good friend of ours. I liked the phrase "share ideas with each other" because it describes one of the biggest merits of television in family life. It provides family a time to talk and topics to share. One improvement that you can make in this writing is to be more formal. You started a sentence with 'cause' and also there are a lot of 'like' in your writing. It does not seem like an writing.
Anyways! good job overall and see you in class :)
To Wansoo Cho From Minju Yeo
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your writing is that you wrote the title. It shows people what you're going to write.
2. Your main point seems to be that you don't consider TV as a very important thing to you.
3. I liked the expression of 'it will make TV disapointed,'
because you pretended as TV has emotion, which was interesting.
4. I don't get your concluding sentence. At first, your main topic was "TV is not so important in your life" but your concusion is "TV makes our family more joyful and TV is our good friend". I think your topic has changed a little in the end.
5. I think you should re-think about what you really want to write. Is it about the unimportance of TV? or the necessity?
If you make that clear, your writing would be much better.
Good job anyway! -Minju
'TV doesn't have big meanings for me.'...???
ReplyDeleteWhen I was first assigned homework, I just thought like above without any consideration for a moment at first. But soon, My mind changed. It's true that I don't enjoy watching TV that much. But just because I don't enjoy it, saying just like that will probably make TV feel disappointed. Cause He do help our familly become more talkative and share ideas with each other. For example, when our family watch the program 'The Partner' which is real show for making couples, each of us personally think who looks good and bad and share our thinking. Because in ordinary days we're a little bit tend to feel reluctant and embarassed about talk boy and girl friend issues , I think this program really help in changing our familly atmosphere. Also After He upgraded from Brown tube to LED, our family come to get together and watch movies more often, which made us more harmonious.
So I would rather think he is really good friend not only for me but also for our family.