TV – Could you live without it?
TV has always been in my life. Do you remember the animation, Sailor moon? She has long yellow hair and always cries out 'I don't forgive you on the name of justice' When I remind her, strong fragrance come across my mind. For example, It made me imagine doing something like her for justice, and Her braveness, her beautiful figure (at that time, I thought she was really pretty) consists of all reminiscence in my youth. Including this, As I grew up, so many things like comedy show or drama effected me. For example, Muhan dojun (Infinite challenge in English) made me dream of being a producer who makes touching program when I was in middle school. Also, In high school, It gives us some important information like news, weather or studying material and I could study by watching EBS. As you can see all above, In my case, I can't live without TV. Already, It has been essential thing for my life. NOW, It's your turn, Can you imagine a life without it?
Hi, my name is Jeong Hyen Joo. What I like about this piece of writing is that there are many detailed reasons why you can't live without TV. Actually, I like the reason that you mentioned first because I've watched Sailor Moon too.
ReplyDeleteI think your main point is that you can't imagine a life without TV.
I like the way you end your writing. Because you end it with questions, it makes your paragraph more unique than others. Also, I like your writing style. I think it's very lively and lucid.
But, there are some parts that I want to change in your writing. I think the first part that you mentioned about Sailor moon is too long compared with the length of the paragraph. Furthermore, you need to keep balance between the reasons.
After all, it is a good writing because it has a unity and doesn't have any unrelated sentences. It would be better if you think about the length between the contents which support your main topic.