I remember that when I was very young I was crying because I missed my favorite cartoon on TV. Maybe that time, since watching TV was one of the most entertaining things I did, I would've said "No! I CAN NOT live without the TV!" Now, I say otherwise. Back then, watching TV was so much fun and there were not many things that were entertaining to me. But now, I have other interests, I have less free time, and I find it quite time-wasting sitting and playing couch potato. So, I rarely watch TV. And also, years ago there was very limited ways of gaining information, such as newspapers or news broadcastings. So people had to rely on these methods to get informed about international, social, economic, or even about local issues. There was no way to find out about these things unless you watch news every evening. Nowadays people have smart phones, we can check up on the latest incidents every minute, search for information we need and also check out if new e-mail has arrived or not. TV provided most of these functions itself, but now, other alternatives have replaced it.
Hi, Minkyong. Here is my comment on your writing. I liked the introduction part that you mentioned of your childhood. It made me think of my childhood, too. And referring both your memory and your thought on general sight was really great but I also think that would be nicer if there was a sentence that makes a connection to each other. See you in class, bye:)
ReplyDeleteHi, this is Kahee Lee. This is my comment.
ReplyDeleteLike the comment above, I also like the indroduction.
However I think your writing would be better if you had wrote about your personal feelings about TV, rather than explaining why TV is less used these days in general, to give more unity to the paragraph.
2nd draft
ReplyDeleteI remember that when I was very young I was crying because I missed my favorite cartoon on TV. Maybe that time, since watching TV was one of the most entertaining things I did, I would've said "No! I CAN NOT live without the TV!" Now, I say otherwise. Back then, watching TV was so much fun and there were not many other things that were entertaining to me. But now, I have other interests, I have less free time, and I find it quite time-wasting sitting and playing couch potato. So, I rarely watch TV. And also, years ago there was very limited ways of gaining information, such as newspapers or news broadcastings. So people had to rely on those methods to get informed about international, social, economic, or even about local issues. There was no way to find out about these things unless you watch news every evening. Nowadays everyone has smart phones, people can check up on the latest incidents every minute, search for information we need and also check out if new e-mail has arrived or not. I also always use my cell to do so. TV provided most of those functions itself, but now, other alternatives have replaced it.