200802616 Jae-Hun Lee
Hi, My name is Jae-Hun Lee. I think my life until today is 'Making a Dream'. I was born in Suwon and grow up there. Suwon is very historial and cultural city in Gyungki-do and there is Hwa-sung in the city that is a long construction for defence and built in 1796. When I was young my family visit there for picnic many times. There are four people in my family : my parents, my younger brother and I. My father is a high-school teacher and He teaches mathematics. He taught me that I have to work hard sincerely all the time whether someone watches me or not. My mother is a house-keeper and she always emphasis that find my favorite things and get it. I keep in mind these lessons, and I love my family.
I'm a very normal Korean student called 'Tow-jong' that means I'm native korean and I've never been abroad except one in East-South Asia for a trip when I was a elementary student. I can't get to go abroad opportunity, but Our family loves trip so much and I can see a lot of things about my country. this experiences make me have a lot of curiosity about human-being and things that all around me. When I was in the Middle school, My favorite class is History and Korean. so, I like reading books about history or literature. since that time I have a dream about be a journalist who report about social problems or irrationality. After graduation from Middle School, I'm in 'Dae-pyung' High school. In there, I think about future and I. after thinking, I have a dream that I want to act as peace messenger and help for unification with North Korea. So I want to be a diplomat who live for country and cooperate with other countries for peace and policy-maker who makes more wealth and welfare for people.
After my military service to air force, I'm a sophomore double majoring in Political Science & Diplomacy and English Interpretation and Translation. I chose to have a double major because I would like to become a diplomat and global leader, and majoring both in PSD and EIT would help me to achieve that goal. To become a global leader, english is essential. And also knowledge of politics and diplomatic strategy would be a big help to serve the diplomatic service for my country. Throughout my life, I have a dream for my future and I always have confidence that I can make and achieve it. Now I'll study hard and experience a lot, and please cross your finger for my luck, Thank you.
To Jae-Hun Lee from Park Jae Hyun Assignment My Life Until Today
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about this piece of writing is your sincere attitude in writing. It is hard to give one specific example about it but I guarantee that everyone will find out your dream and your sincere attitude toward your dream. Plus, I find your opening sentence, I think my life until today is 'Making a Dream'., very impressive. It really caught my eyes and after reading your writing I found this sentence really summarizes your whole story in one sentence. I appreciate it.
Your main point seems to be your process toward your goal and things done by you roughly until now. In order to approach this you mentioned your parents’ lessons and your favorite subjects in school and your dream of being a journalist plus reason of it. I strongly say these are all sings or indications of things to come. However, introducing your city and your family is not that necessary making readers little hard to focus on main idea. Readers may say that these are little out of focus of what you are writing about.
These particular words or lines struck me as powerful. As I already mentioned above the expression ‘making a dream’ from the opening sentence is really interesting. I appreciate that this expression really succeeded in summarizing your whole story in particular your main idea, your dream of being a diplomat. And the Korean word 'Tow-jong' really made my eye fresh. In my opinion you used this word intentionally in order to give extra attention of your non oversea related background and I think it is allowable because it seems like most of students attending this class have Korean background. Also, I wonder what the expression of our professor, Jon H. Bahk-Halberg, will be as it is possible for him not to be familiar with this word.
But it is very regretful of finding some notable misusage of words for example East-South Asia(which can be improved by Southeast Asia) and some grammatical mistakes which could not only hurt your writing itself but also damage general opinion toward you although you are very diligent and hardworking person in reality. And your explanation of Hwa-sung is perhaps not that clear to readers. You said Haw-sung is a long construction for defense and built in 1796. In fact I have seen Hwa-sung’s pictures many times and I clearly know what the Hwa-sung is for. But I’m afraid that your explanation would be not that enough for people who have no idea with it. However as you know main topic of this paragraph is your life until now. And I think best way to improve Hwa-sung part can be giving some reasons that why this is really important to you or just simply erase it.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is checking your grammar and erase some parts which seem not that heavily related to your life until now or your main point, your dream of being a diplomat.
Even though all the problems that I mentioned above, your writing is still really awesome. I find your sincerity and again I really appreciated it. Thanks for giving me such a wonderful opportunity to know about you.
See you in class.
Jae-Hun Lee / My Life Until Today / Mon 9a.m.
ReplyDeletePSD 200802616 Jae-Hun Lee
Hi, My name is Jae-Hun Lee. I think my life until today is 'Making a Dream'. I was born in Suwon and grow up there. There are four people in my family : my parents, my younger brother and I. I'm a very normal Korean student called 'Tow-jong' that means I'm native korean and I've never been abroad except one in Southeast Asia for a trip when I was a elementary student. I can't get to go abroad opportunity, but Our family loves trip so much and I can see a lot of things about my country. This experiences make me have a lot of curiosity about human-being and things that all around me. When I was in the Middle school, My favorite class is History and Korean. so, I like reading books about history or literature. since that time I have a dream about be a journalist who report about social problems or irrationality. After graduation from Middle School, I'm in 'Dae-pyung' High school. In there, I think about future and I. after thinking, I have a dream that I want to act as peace messenger and help for unification with North Korea. So I want to be a diplomat who live for country and cooperate with other countries for peace and policy-maker who makes more wealth and welfare for people. After my military service to air force, I'm a sophomore double majoring in Political Science & Diplomacy and English Interpretation and Translation. I chose to have a double major because I would like to become a diplomat and global leader, and majoring both in PSD and EIT would help me to achieve that goal. To become a global leader, english is essential. And also knowledge of politics and diplomatic strategy would be a big help to serve the diplomatic service for my country. Throughout my life, I have a dream for my future and I always have confidence that I can make and achieve it. Now I'll study hard and experience a lot, and please cross your finger for my luck, Thank you.