My Life Until Today
I could have chances to live in many different places and I believe that helped me to be more adaptable to the new things. In 1991, I was born in GwangJu, South Korea. My parents were both University students, so they took me to the United States of America to study abroad. I went to preschool and kindergarten in Ohio. I returned back to GwangJu at six, but soon moved to JeonJu three due to my father's job. I attended SeoShin Middle School at that city and made many friends, but my family flew to U.S.A. again for one and a half year. I graduated Blacksburg Middle School there. When I came back to Korea, I got admission to enter a highschool at YonIn, so I spent my high school years at that new city making many friends from all over the country. Now, since my University is here, I am living in Seoul. During 22 years of my life, I had chances to live in many different places, and I strongly believe that this made me more "opened-person" to variety of new things, so I am gratefull of such opportunities.
Hi, I'm cho yoon jung!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I like the way you ended the essay. It is always hard for me to end the paragraph in interesting way but your last sentence is really appropriate I think. I think it really summurized the whole paragraph well.
But the way you organized the paragraph could be improved if you write some opinion like the last sentence because it's little bit boring if you just list the facts and facts.
Hello, I'm Takgyun!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, through the first sentence, you could pre-introduce what you were to write about. According to the first sentence, I could guess the paragraph would be about many different places you have lived, and the paragraph followed my guess.
I liked your expression "that helped me to be more adaptable to new things." which showed your characteristics well. But "opened-person" sounded a little ambiguous to me.
I think your paragraph was interesting thanks to your many experiences but it could be better if you added your feelings to your experiences..!
Thank you and see you soon~
My Life Until Today
ReplyDeleteI could have chances to live in many different places and I believe that helped me a lot to become more adaptable to the new things. In 1991, I was born in GwangJu, South Korea. My parents were both University students, and they took me to the United States of America to study abroad. My mother told me that I went to preschool and kindergarten in Ohio. Though I do not remember anything about that period since I was too young back then-- only 3,4 years old. I returned back to GwangJu at six, but soon moved to JeonJu three due to my father's job. I attended Middle School and made many friends, but my family flew to U.S.A. again for one and a half year. It was really hard for me to fit in the whole new country with new people but I ended up graduating Blacksburg Middle School with many friends who I am still keep in touch with. When I returned back to Korea, I got admission to enter a highschool at YonIn, so I spent my high school years at that new city making many new friends from all over the country. Now, since my University is here, I am living in Seoul. During 22 years of my life, I had chances to live in many different places, and I strongly believe that made me more "opened" to variety of new things, so I am gratefull of such opportunities.