A friend and a teacher of mine, TV
Living without TV? I can never imagine my life without it. As both of my parents work, I had to stay at home alone or with my brother since I was a child. So watching TV was one of few things that I could do while waiting my mom to come home. It was like a friend to me. I couldn't talk to it, but I could see people and characters in that box talking to each other. I liked watching it, and it made me feel like I was with them in TV. As I spend lot of time with TV, I learned many things from it. It was also like a teacher to me. I could get various understandings from news and learn how to behave to be a great person from documentaries. Especially from documentaries, it had me make a promise myself to become an admired person like people on the TV. As I mentioned, for me, TV has been sometimes a friend, and sometimes a teacher. Can you live without a friend and a teacher? Well, I can't.
Hi Ji Young ! This is Sun Gyung and I am so glad to comment on your writing this tie.
ReplyDeleteto begin with, I think your introduction is very good. The Q&A format let me focus more on your writing and so did the closing. Your main point seems to be that you cannot live without TV because it acts as a friend and a teacher. Especially, I loved your expression '......and it made me feel like I was with them in TV.' It sounds somewhat interesting to me. However, right in the middle of the paragragh, where the second section starts, I think you'd better change the order of the two sentences. I mean, 'As I spend lot of time with TV, I learned many things from it.' and 'It was also like a teacher to me.' This change will make the paragraph's organization better. Also, some grammatic errors to '-^~
That's it for my comment, and thanks for sharing your wonderful idea about TV. See you in class soon :)
Hello, Ji-young! This is Dana from your class.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is the explanation you gave about your opinion. You described how the television acted as a friend and a teacher very well and it was easy to understand. Your main point of this paragraph seems to be a television as your friend and teacher. I liked the part where you said "...it had me make a promise myself to become an admired person like people on the TV." because it shows how much you learned from the television. But your paragraph would much better if you just added some more details about the influence of television on you. For example, after you made a promise, did you really become a better person? If so, how?
Overall, very nice writing and see you in class!:)
A friend and a teacher of mine, TV
ReplyDeleteLiving without TV? I can never imagine my life without it. As both of my parents work, I had to stay at home alone or with my brother since I was a child. So watching TV was one of few things that I could do while waiting my mom to come home. It was like a friend to me. I couldn't talk to it, but I could see people and characters in that box talking to each other. I liked watching it, and it made me feel like I was with them in TV. It was also like a teacher to me. As I spend lot of time with TV, I learned many things from it. I could get various understandings from news and learn how to behave to be a great person from documentaries. Especially from documentaries, it had me make a promise myself to become an admired person like people on the TV. For example, when I was advised to write a journal called 'Success diary', I tried right after I watched the program. It made me also see how much I proceed in that day. As I mentioned, for me, TV has been sometimes a friend, and sometimes a teacher. Can you live without a friend and a teacher? Well, I can't.