My life until today
Sometimes just simple few words can change somebody's whole life. I experienced that too. In fact, I was negative person. I always looked at the world negatively. And it was stressful for me especially when I was high school student. At that time, i was studying for university entrance. So I was really stressed. Soon stress appeared as diseases. I caught a new influenza, had always a headache, allergic rhinitis and so on. I was so sick. It was harder for me. So I told ecery concern about university entrance, my health to my mom. Then my mom told me, "Hey, don't worry. Everything will be good. You don't have to worry about that. Think positive! And I believe you that you can do anything you want." I know that it is just simple words and everyone knows this. But at that time it was really helped to me. I was happy that my mom truly believes me. I tried to think powitive, and it changes my whole life until now. Of course I can't be always positive person but I always try. In the past, I did not challenge because of negative thinking. But now I challenge to everything that I want. Sometime I succeed, but the others I did not succeed. But I never give up, and find new ways or better ways. Thinking positive is a big change in my life, and it makes my life much better.
hi, im na rae son!
ReplyDeletei liked your writing starting with a good remark.
Hi Sora! I'm Min Kyong Sohn and this is my feedback on your writing.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like the most about your writing is that the whole paragraph is following one idea.It has unity.
Your main point seems to be how your perspective of life changed after your mother gave you an advice.Am I right?
I thkink you started your writing with a very good beginnig.
When I read the first sentence,it just provoked my curiosity about what's going to follow in the text.
I was wondering what you meant by this sentence ; "It was harder for me." It's not very clear what "it" is reffering.It would be better if you point out what it is. And also I think these two sentences need to be connected as we learned in the class ; "I know that it is just simple words and everyone knows this. But at that time it was really helped to me."
I feel somehow the last sentence doesn't follow the main topic.It contains what you were talking about in the paragraph but what i thought is it would be better if you mention something about 'simple words that changed my life'.
Thanks^^
Sometimes just simple few words can change somebody's whole life. I experienced that too. In fact, I was negative person. I always looked at the world negatively. And it was stressful for me especially when I was high school student. At that time, I was studying for university entrance. So I was really stressed. Soon stress appeared as diseases. I caught a new influenza, had always a headache, allergic rhinitis and so on. I was so sick. Being sick was harder for me. So I told every concern about university entrance, my health to my mom. Then my mom told me, "Hey, don't worry. Everything will be good. You don't have to worry about that. Think positive! And I believe you that you can do anything you want." This is just simple words but it really helped. I was happy that my mom truly believes me. I tried to think positive, and it changes my whole life until now. Of course I can't be always positive person but I always try. In the past, I did not challenge because of negative thinking. But now I challenge to everything that I want. Sometime I succeed, but the others I did not succeed. But I never give up, and find new ways or better ways. Simple words changed my life.
ReplyDelete