I was born in Pohang, the 3rd August 1992. I am the only daughter in my family. So I was always lonely but my parents were kind to me all the times like best friends. Since I was young, I was shy, I liked being alone. But when I started going to school, I got close to many friends and my personality got a little bit improved. I entered school at 7 years old and after one year, I went to Africa, Ivory Coast with my parents. I had to be adapted very quickly to the hot weather and had to be a student in an international school teaching in French. I got used to the new environment soon. There were several bad things like coup d'etat and civil war but my family and I overcame difficult situations and lived there for 8 years. I changed my school twice because of the country's circumstance. But I did well at school to not worry my parents. I came back to Pohang, where I was raised, while I was in the 2nd grade of the middle school. I went to Hwanho middle school and Duho high school. I had to get used to a new lifestyle and get along with new friends. At first in Korea, it was difficult to absorb Korean education system but with my remarkable adaptation capacity, I could finish my studies to high school curriculum. In 2011, I got accepted to HUFS and now I am a student at the Department of French.
Hi! Youn hee :) I am Kim you jin. I think your writing is very excellent. It is about your experience to overcome new environment, right? I am so impressed by your adjustment which I can feel the word, overcome and remarkable adaptation, you used. I also want to adjust well like you! However I think It is better to add TOPIC sentence at the beginning and conclusion sentence at the end of the paragraph. It will make your writing more sistematic. Also If you explain about your adversity in foreign country more lively, It can present your capacity to adapt better. Thanks a lot for sharing your life! :)
ReplyDeleteHi YeonHee ! This is SunGyung Kim and I am really glad to hear that you were born in Pohang and went to school there because the city is my hometown too :)
ReplyDeleteRegarding your writing, what I liked the most about it is your ability to make your story attractive. Your main point seems to overcoming difficulties in your life and it was well depicted with your extraordinary experiences from Arfica. I personaly like the sentence "with my remarkable adaptation capacity, I could finish my studies to high school curriculum." because it exactly peresents that you worked really hard to adapt to a new circumstance and also I am happy to hear it was succuessful. However, I suggest you change the expression 'having to be adapted' to 'having to fit in' simply because it's more natural. Also, you had better revise your topic sentence to be more clear as we learned in class.
Hope to see you in several days. Bye !
I was born in Pohang, the 3rd August 1992. I am the only daughter in my family. So I was always lonely but my parents were kind to me all the times like best friends. Since I was young, I was shy, I liked being alone. But when I started going to school, I got close to many friends and my personality got a little bit improved. I entered school at 7 years old and after one year, I went to Africa, Ivory Coast with my parents. I had to be adapted very quickly to the hot weather. It was so hot that it couldn’t be compared to Korea’s summer weather. I changed my clothes as soon as I came down of the airplane. And I had to be a student in an international school teaching in French because this country was a colony of France. It was difficult to learn and speak French at the first time but to communicate with others I had to know how to speak this language. I got used to the new environment soon. I made a lot of friends, who one of them is my lifelong friend. There were several bad things like coup d’etat and civil war but my family and I overcame difficult situations and lived there for 8 years. I changed my school twice because of the country’s circumstance (that I mentioned before, the coup d’etat and the civil war). But I did well at school to not worry my parents. We couldn’t make there anymore. The country was in an economic depression and my dad’s business didn’t go well. So we came back to Pohang, where I was raised, while I was in the 2nd grade of the middle school. I went to Hwanho middle school and Duho high school. I had to get used to a new lifestyle and get along with new friends. At first in Korea, it was difficult to absorb Korean education system and difficult to understand Korean literature but with my remarkable adaptation capacity, I could finish my studies to high school curriculum. I always wanted to study French at the university (especially at HUFS) because as I learned it since I was young, I had affection for it. So I applied to and I got accepted to HUFS. Now I am a student at the Department of French.
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