Not special sometimes really special.
Actually, I almost cherish all the things around me. But especially, I love my clothings although They are small in number and I don't know why. And among those clothings, I most cherish my dress shirt that I made. During winter vacation, I studied fashion illustrating in FIK and it was really good. There, I learned drawing and also sewing. So I designed and make pattern basd on what I learned. There is no special details or decorations, it is just as typical as we usually wear with 7 buttons in the middle. However, What's different is that it is made only for me! To make it, I measured my body and also got all the matrials(textile, buttons..) on my own. Finally, I got a beige colored dress shirt which is really plain but special for me! Because It was my work in my life, I might feel more like that. Looking that shirt, the 2 months of memory pass by and also make myself more passionate for fashion. In the near future when I become famous in Fashion fields, I hope to speech, someday, in front of hundreds of millions of people ,with this shirt on!
Minju Yeo
ReplyDeleteI really liked the part that you want to wear the shirt you made in front of many people when you get famous!
1. Yes, it has a topic sentence. "I love my clothings although They are small in number and I don't know why." Actuall, there is a topic sentence but the meaning is somewhat not clear. I think you have to correct it more simple.
2. Yes, he does describe about the background information. He says that the clothe is special because he made it on his own, and it reminds him of his memory during the summer vacation.
3. Yes, he described about the dress shirt in detail. However, I think he should add a 'little' bit more to make readers imagine well.
4. I don't think so. I think he should use more specific words instead of general terms.
5. I thought his finishing sentence very interesting, however he doesn't have a precise concluding sentence that restate the topic sentence.