| My Life Until Now -60(1minute)*60(1hour)*24(1day)*30(1month)*12(1year)*21(21years old)=653184000seconds-
Yesterday I examined my photo album to find out what my life has been so far until now. Starting from old photos when I was a baby to most recent photos, I could notice changes in my appearance as well as various occasions. When I think about my childhood what takes most part in my memory is smell of my grandparent's house which was built in traditional korean way only using wood and soil. I was raised by my grandparents due to my parent's economic status at that time, and my grandparents raised me with true love which will never be forgotten until the end of my life. Roughly eight years later the time came that I had to enter a elementary school by compulsory education system, and I started my life in Pohang city where I spent majority of my school life. At an early stage I remember that I had some troubles adjusting myself in a complete different atmosphere compared to my times with grandparents, because in grandparents' village there were few children who are in same age with me. Fortunately, I succeeded in adjusting myself soon. For instance, I became captain of a class in the middle school for three years. At the first winter vacation in middle school I happened to visit the Philippines for roughly three months in purpose of learning English. I feel like that most basic of my English was made during this period, and I got the idea of my future life. After being graduated from middle school I started my high school time which is considered generally hard time. For example I had trouble in relationship with two boys separately one in the first year and another in the third year which still can be recalled in a bad way, and also I had to focus on Korea Scholastic Aptitude Test (the college scholastic ability test in South Korea) caring nothing about other things. Although I gained many things during high school period including priceless friends and other knowledge I still say that this period was very hard. Luckily after high school I entered malay-indonesian department of HUFS, and I worked hard to fulfill my dream during my first year. Even though sometimes I felt tired but I did everything gracefully because this is what I chose. In conclusion, I am in my 21 now, and I often dream about my future, and usually can't wait what will happen next. |
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Park Jae Hyun /My life Until Now/ Mon 12
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Hi Im Yun you jung and your title really catches my eye! It is interesting to meet my life with seconds. Through your writing, I can know your life in detail. And the sentence I like most in this text is "I often dream about my future, and usually can't wait what will happen next." because in this line I can feel challenge of spirit. But I think it will be more better text if there is a sentence which can encompass your writing. :)
ReplyDeleteHi. I am Lee Myungjae, and I read your writing with great interests. First of all, I like the way you described your memory related to your grandparents' house. It reminds me of my grandparents' house and its smells, because the sense of smell is so special and impressive when combined with childhood memories. I feel your main point is that you are a passionate person who got through rough and happy times both here in Korea and Philippines. The line that stuck me most was the first part because that shows you tried something to figure out how your past was like ,not just by relying on your memory. I believe that is why you made such a impressive start. However, the story about 'two boys' was not clear to me. You just mentioned your feeling with the boys, but the readers would be curious why you felt like that and what happened to you. Also, I had some difficulties cutting the lines, becuase the begging and end of the sentences were not obvious. If you add some proper punctuation marks, your writing would be much easier to follow. Those two will make the biggest improvement in this writing. I am glad to read yours. Bye:)
ReplyDeletePark Jae Hyun(박재현)201101411
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My Life Until Now
-60(1minute)*60(1hour)*24(1day)*30(1month)*12(1year)*21(21years old)=653184000seconds-
Yesterday I opened my photo album to chase my life track. What takes big place in my childhood is smell of grandparent’s house built in traditional Korean way only using wood and soil. I spent childhood with grandparents while parents lived in other city because of their economic status. But I was the luckiest boy more than anyone. My grandparents gave me a true love for eight years which never be forgotten until the end of my life. Then, I moved to Pohang city to start my school year. At an early stage I had little troubles adjusting myself with classmates because there were few boys and girls in same age with me around grandparents’ house. However I found my place soon. I even became a class captain three years in a row in middle school. And during middle school somehow I happened to visit Manila, capital city of the Philippines for three months, and it was the moment that changed my life. In there I threw myself in the middle of locals. For example I enjoyed playing badminton with boys in street and I also visited local school. Experience of being an only Korean among bunch of foreigners was particularly unforgettable and gave me dream of being an expert about some foreign countries. After middle school I entered to high school also in Pohang city. High school time was really stressful. I always had to concentrate on Korea Scholastic Aptitude Test more than anything. My head clearly understood why I have to sit on a chair and to pick up a pen but my heart became so barren. Even small sentimental troubles with friends hurt me very much. But fortunately I succeed in entering malay-indonesian department of HUFS. I am in my 21 now. I often dream about my future, and can’t wait what is waiting for me.
Why is it impossible to make a indent in the first sentence?
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