How to swim in a public swimming pool
Swimming is a good leisure sport that everyone can enjoy, but there are few people who can afford a swimming at their home. However, if we know how to use the public swimming pool properly, we can still enjoy swimming just as if it was in my home, without any nuisance. Here are the steps for appropriate behaviour at a public swimming pool before you go into the water. First, pay attention to your shoes. If you leave your shoes at the gate when you go in the cloak room, it is possible to misplace or lose them, since you are in the public place. Even if there is a shoe rack for the clients, try to keep your shoes in your individual rockers. Second, keep your rocker key safely. You should always keep the key with you. Thesedays almost every rocker key is designed as a wrist band. Wear it on you wrist and keep your eyes on it. Third, take a shower before you go into the water. Use your soap and shampoo. Your consideration keeps the water clear. Next, do some exercises before you go into the pool. Stretch you arms, legs and neck and relax your muscle. It is also good to jog for a short time before you go to swim. Unless you warm yourself up, before you begin swimming in earnest, you will get a cramp while swimming. In the water, it can be more dangerous than you imagine. Last but not least, don't dive into the water without an instructor. Around 70% of the accidents in the swimming pool are caused by reckless divings. Control your excitement before you jump into the water, and adapt your body to the temperature of the water slowly. In this way, you will avoid any injuries or heart attack. Also, you won't distract other swimmers by splashing the water. Finally, enjoy swimming! Through these steps, you will swim in a public swimming pool more pleasantly than you do at your home.
Dear, people who are willing to leave comments on my writing. Sorry, but I made a mistake in my first sentence. What I was saying is "Swimming is a good leisure sport that everyone can enjoy, but there are few people who can afford a swimming POOL at their home."
ReplyDeleteIn other words, up there, the important word 'pool' is missing. Please check this, before you leave comments. Thanks.
To ANYeonju From Jae Hyun Park Assignment a process paragraph about something you know how to do that might be helpful to someone else
ReplyDelete1, Does the paragraph have a topic sentence? Can you identify the process the writer will describe?
Swimming is a good leisure sport that everyone can enjoy, but there are few people who can afford a swimming at their home.
Well if this is your topic sentence I’d say that it is well approached. From this sentence, I recognized that you will write about public swimming pools because you said there are few people who can afford a swimming at their home.
2,Does the writer provide background information about the process? If so, write it here.
I find plenty of background information for example, It is possible to misplace or lose them, since you are in the public place, Thesedays almost every rocker key is designed as a wrist band, Unless you warm yourself up, before you begin swimming in earnest, you will get a cramp while swimming, Around 70% of the accidents in the swimming pool are caused by reckless divings, In this way, you will avoid any injuries or heart attack. Also, you won't distract other swimmers by splashing the water.
I feel that your background information is enough.
3,Does the paragraph have time order words to help clarify the order of the steps in the process? If so, which time order words does the writer use?
I can recognize that you used First, Second, Third, Next, Last but not least, Finally as your time order words and I feel they are clear enough.
4,Does the concluding sentence restate the main idea in the topic sentence or give a suggestion or warning?
Through these steps, you will swim in a public swimming pool more pleasantly than you do at your home.
I find your concluding sentence is like this. Well, I understand its’ meaning but it is little bit strange. Because at the beginning you assumed that only a few people own private swimming pool in their home, so I think your concluding sentence do not get along with topic sentence. Your concluding sentence seems that it assumes that most individuals own private pool in home.
5, The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is probably improving your title.
Your current title is ‘How to swim in a public swimming pool’. And for me, it feels like that you are going to introduce some tips for swimming while you are focusing on the process before swimming.
I really enjoyed your writing. And see you in class.
Things you should do before swimming
ReplyDeleteSwimming is a good leisure sport that everyone can enjoy, but there are few people who can afford a swimming at their home. However, if we know how to use the public swimming pool properly, we can still enjoy swimming just as if it was in my home, without any nuisance. Here are the steps for appropriate behaviour at a public swimming pool before you go into the water. First, pay attention to your shoes. If you leave your shoes at the gate when you go in the cloak room, it is possible to misplace or lose them, since you are in the public place. Even if there is a shoe rack for the clients, try to keep your shoes in your individual rockers. Second, keep your rocker key safely. You should always keep the key with you. Thesedays almost every rocker key is designed as a wrist band. Wear it on you wrist and keep your eyes on it. Third, take a shower before you go into the water. Use your soap and shampoo. Your consideration keeps the water clear. Next, do some exercises before you go into the pool. Stretch you arms, legs and neck and relax your muscle. It is also good to jog for a short time before you go to swim. Unless you warm yourself up, before you begin swimming in earnest, you will get a cramp while swimming. In the water, it can be more dangerous than you imagine. Last but not least, don't dive into the water without an instructor. Around 70% of the accidents in the swimming pool are caused by reckless divings. Control your excitement before you jump into the water, and adapt your body to the temperature of the water slowly. In this way, you will avoid any injuries or heart attack. Also, you won't distract other swimmers by splashing the water. Finally, enjoy swimming! Through these steps, you will swim in a public swimming pool more pleasantly than you do at your home.