We meet a lot of teachers in our life. Some are good and some are bad. One teacher I really liked. I liked his appearance: he stays in a good shape, playing tennis regularly at least three times a week, he looks great in vivid color such as hot pink, yellow-like lemon and sea green. What's more, his lecture is flawless, and thus it is the best one I have ever taken. He does the research for the class materials for the whole week, not only surfing the Internet with simple mouse click, but also doing a real research in library. With these energetic efforts, his visual aids such as power points, handouts fully cover the topic of the day. To tell about his presentation, he is different from others in HUFS who just tend to read what is on the screen with sleepy voice. In other words, he never hesitates to deliver what he has to deliver in class. Every time when we are in his classroom, we can find another Steve jobs at podium. One day, after he finished his presentation, he had Q&A time. But none raised any hand and any comment. After a few minuets, he left the class, leaving this words: "remember this moment, the condition will be the same. When you stand on your own field as a carrier, you will not be able to make your voice even with the very slight problem." His remark moved me to the extent that it haunted all day. I think I will not be able to forget him as a professional who taught me academic knowledge as well as being brave.
Hi,everybody.My name is Phùng Thanh Thơm - a student from Vietnam. I think you should write: I liked his APPEARANCE:he stays in good shape because he plays tennis regularly at least three times a week instead of "he stays in a good shape, playing tennis regularly at least three times a week;..."
ReplyDeleteHi, this is sora.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph is interesting and I agree with he is a real great teacher.
But more explation and illustrations would be better.
Thank you!
Hi, this is Ji-young JANG from writing class. I liked that you had many descriptive words in your writing. It makes me easier to imagine him. The episode was great to show what kind of person he is. I don't see something that havs to be fixed.
ReplyDeleteSee you in class.BYE
the Best Teacher in My Life
ReplyDeleteWe meet a lot of teachers in our life. Some are good and some are bad. One teacher I really liked. I especially liked his appearance: he stays in a good shape, playing tennis regularly at least three times a week and he looks great in vivid color such as hot pink, yellow-like lemon and sea green. What's more, his lecture is flawless, and thus it is the best one I have ever taken. He does a research for the class materials for the whole week, not only surfing the Internet with simple mouse clicks, but also finding out many detailed information in school library. With these energetic efforts, his visual aids such as power points and handouts always fully cover the topic of the day. To tell about his presentation, he is different from other professors in HUFS who just tend to read what is on the screen with sleepy voice. In other words, he never hesitates to deliver what he has to in class. Every time when we are in his classroom, we can find another Steve jobs at podium. One day, after he finished his presentation, he had Q&A time. But no one raised their hands and asked him a question. After few minutes later, he left the class, saying: "remember this moment. You will be the same. Even if you stand on your own field as a carrier, you will not be able to make your voice, even with the very slight problem." His remark moved me to the extent that it haunted all day. I think I will not be able to forget him as a professor, who taught me academic knowledge as well as important attitude in my life like being brave.
Hi this is Kim Ji su.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for your effort to revise the writing.
I loved your writing because it was the longest haha.
I can see that you used lots of examples and adjectives to describe your teacher and your experience.
However, your sentences are a bit too weak.
For instance, One teacher I really liked. I liked his appearance
this sentence doesn't look like a sentence which was written by a university student.
It souns very childish.
I know that this class requires simple, and easy sentences.
However I believe there are total differences between easy and childish.
Also appearance doesn't seem like a right vocab here...
Maybe his outlook? or his overall style
will make the writing better.
Thank you :_)
(Introduction to Academic Writing (1)) Mon.12Jon H. Bahk-Halberg
ReplyDeletePark Jae Hyun(박재현)201101411
Draft2
Topic: Pinning it Down writing (Exercise B)
How lucky I am to have teacher you can proudly introduce to others!
I think I am quite blessed because I have one teacher who can be proudly introduced by me to others. His outlook is as great as his teaching. For example, he stays in a good shape because he regularly plays tennis. Plus his style is also attracting, wearing in vivid color such as hot pink, yellow-like lemon and sea green. In terms of teaching the very first thing you can easily recognize is his diligence preparing for lecture. He conducts deep research in library every time. On the top of that not only visual aids such as power points, handouts but also by himself he is really good at conveying what he has to students. As you know, knowing a lot by oneself and conveying is really different matter and from this point here comes his real value. For instance, he never hesitates to deliver what he has to deliver in class. Every time when he gives us presentation as a lecture we can recognize another Steve jobs at podium. Again I am such a lucky one because I met this kind of teacher.