I like giving presents to someone who I love. Someone who I love includes family, boyfriend, or freinds. These are the steps for choosing a special gift for people I love. First, I have to consider their interest. For example, my mom likes playing badminton or golf, so I once gave her knee pads. She really liked it. However, if I had given her any other presents that are none of her interest, such as soccor ball, or ipod, it would not be approperate. Second, I have to think what they need. It would be much better if you give them what is useful for them. If you give a toy robot to your mom as a present, it is totally not useful for her. To consider the needs, you can listen to what they say in daily lives. I listen to the people who I love carefully, and if they say they need something, I remember it and buy it as a present for them. Although it might be the same present, it can double their happiness when they get what they really needed. Finally, I have to consider the price of the presents. If I buy a too expensive present, it might burden people. On the other hand, if I give them too cheap things-although it depends on what kind of gift I'm trying to prepare- it is not so kind. These are the process I consider when I choose presents for the people I love.
Hi, I'm Jae-Hun Lee and this is my feedback for your writing.
ReplyDeleteThe topic sentence tell what the task is and contain a controlling idea. I think this sentence is the topic sentence: "These are the steps for choosing a special gift for people I love.".
The supporting sentences include a sequence of steps that give detailed information, background details and the tools needed for the task. You explain how you decided the gift.
You use time order words to separate the steps: first, second, finally.
Thank you and see you nextweek's class~
Hi, this is Ji-young from writing class and here is my comment on your writing.
ReplyDeleteI think your topic sentence is; These are the steps for choosing a special gift for people I love. And I think this tells what the task is and contains a controlling idea.
And I liked that you gave examples for each step and they explain alot your supporting sentences. These examples were modals to express your advice.
You used time order words such as; first, second, finally. You capitalized the first letter of each sentence and put end punctuation at the end.
But I wish your concluding sentence mentioned your three steps again to emphasize.
you have done very well.............................@ profjbh
ReplyDelete