I always thought that I should repay my mother's love for me. I knew that she gave up a lot to give me what I needed, what I wanted. So I used to say since I was very little, that I would give my mother allowance when I become an adult to show my thanks. And when I became 20 and entered University, I decided to give my mother a surprise gift because she had worked so hard for all these years for our family. First, I listed the things that my mother would want to have or the things that would be useful to her. Health foods, jewels, bags and shoes and a lot of other things came into my mind, but I just felt that they weren't special enough, and they were also too expensive for me to buy, and I really didn't know what my mother would like to have. And then I came up with an idea. If I can't buy a nice present to my mother because they're too expensive, maybe it would be better to save money and then give that money to her, so that she could use it for herself. The next thing I did was to go straight to the bank and make an installment saving account that that had a maturity of one year. Then for a year, I started saving some money every month, little by little. Finally, a year passed and I gave the account to my mother on her birthday. I never told her that I made that account so she was truly surprised. When I told her why I started saving, she said that she is a lucky person to have such a sweet daughter. I felt so happy that day, seeing my mother's face full of happiness. I felt like I really did a good job and also felt good for myself. That was a few years ago, and I am still making a savings account every year. And I will keep saving as much and as long as I can, to express my gratitude to my mother.
Hello this is MinKyong from the class.
ReplyDeleteI think your topic is to get something special for your mom. And I loved the idea of saving up a little bit month by month. I'm sure your mom really appreciated your love in it. I also liked your paragraph, it was easy to read and follow. But I think as we are writing process writing,it would be better if you add some imperatives or modals into your work. Anything but that, I loved your work.
See you in the class!
Hi, I'm AN Yeonju.
ReplyDeleteI think your topic and task are clear, and backround information is suitable for your topic. It is a interesting and also coherent paragraph. The thing that want to suggest for further improvement is that you should use the conjunctions to indicate the different steps in your process writing. And, like Minkyoung said above, use more imperatives and modals. It will be better if you try to give readers some instrucions or suggestions, for we are supposed to write a progess paragraph.
Thanks!
Draft 2
ReplyDeleteBefore I buy a gift for my friend or family, I always follow a few steps. First I think of what the person likes or needs right now, because I like giving people gifts that are practical and rememberable. Second, I consider how much it would cost and when I should start saving to buy the gift. And finally I give the present as a surprise to make the receivers feel happier. Once I decided to give my mother a special gift to show my thanks. I always felt like I should repay her because I knew that my mother gave up a lot to give me what I needed, to let me live a happy satisfying life. So when I became 20, I thought I could save my allowance and the money I earned from my part-time job to give her a surprise gift since she worked so hard for all these years for our family. I listed the things what I thought that my mother would like to have and may be useful to her. Many things such as health foods, jewels, bags and shoes, but I just felt that they were not special enough. And some of those things were quite expensive for me to buy, and I wasn't sure is she would really like them. Then I came up with an idea. I thought if I can't buy her the perfect present because I can't afford it, maybe it would be better to save money and then give that money to my mother, so she could use it for herself, to buy what she wants. So I went to the bank and made an installment saving account that had a maturity of one year. And I started saving little by little every month. After a year I gave the account to my mother on her birthday. I never told her that I made that account so she was truly surprised. When I told her why I started saving, she said that she is a lucky person to have such a sweet daughter. I felt so happy that day, seeing my mother's face full of happiness. That was the special gift I gave to a special person, my mother. My surprise gift was a great success, and I am still saving every year to see that happy face again.