| A gift for life
Last year, I gave a book which indicates how to live well and how to make one's decision to my senior student. She was a respectable student, so I respected her very much in many reasons. And, someday, I got to know her birthday had been coming. I considered what I could do for her. First, I thought what was the most necessity for her. Because she was around her graduate, I thought book would be better than any other gifts. I thought book would be forever with her mind. Second, I had to select what kind of books would be better. When you choose books for gift, consider who is your object; one's interest, one's hobby and one's age and so on. In my case I chose a book which contains the way to success. This book contains a successful life of Lee gun hee, a chairman of SAMSUNG. Because I thought she may need the way to lead a life, I decided to but that. Next, I wrote a letter for her. Of course, although every gift is priceless in terms of love and thoughtfulness of givers, you should express your love. The receiver is impressed more by love than stuff. If you reveal your love, it is almost around end. Finally, I gave it with my all heart to her. It is very pleasure to give presents for someone. In addition, if that present is a book with your sincere hearts, it will be double the affection. Please join my pleasure!
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Thursday, May 10, 2012
Kim you jin // steps for choosing a gift
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Hello, this is Yun You Jung.
ReplyDeleteYour topic sentence, "Last year, I gave a book which indicates how to live well and how to make one's decision to my senior student.", explains what the task is well. Also, the title represent your writing effectively. Although it is short, it includes all of your writing.
Thanks to the time order words, I can understand the steps for choosing a gift easily. You didn't use imperatives in this writing, but I think this is not the problem. Because I figured out instruction, directions, and steps in your writing.
But in the second sentence, I think "She was a respectable student" and "I respected her" are overlapped. It would be better to change this sentence like "She was a respectable student in many reasons".
Thank you for your writing. See you in the next class!
Hello, this is Takgyun!
ReplyDeleteYour topic seems to be your experience of giving a book as a gift. This paragraph is supposed to explain the process of choosing a gift. With your own experience, I think it clearly showed the process. Also, by using time order words, it became more clear. But I think this paragraph tells about your own experience only. It would be much better if you generalize the steps using your experience. Thank you for sharing your paragraph and see you in class!