Is it a good idea to live with relatives?
Living with relatives might be heard as awesome news for some students.
We meet relatives mainly on national celebrating days such as, Thanksgiving Day, New Year's Day.
So when we meet relatives we gather around and chat and have a good time.
Therefore when you hear the word relatives it will give you images of playfulness.
However I would recommend those who are willing to live with their relatives to reconsider that idea.
I'm currently living with my youngest aunt. She is the youngest daughter
from my mother's side of the family and she is 7 years older than me.
When we lived separately, I always enjoyed playing with my youngest aunt.
She was pretty, young and we had similar taste on fashion and food.
So when my mother asked if it's okay for me to stay with my aunt, I said "YES!" without any hesitation.
However things got ugly after she moved in with us. I never had the chance to know the real side of my aunt before.
After living together, her nasty habits really tortured me. She always nagged at me since I was the youngest in the family.
She never washed her dishes, and she always borrowed my clothes.
It really made me angry and felt sorry for myself to be caught in such kind of situation.
It was a hasty decision to decide one's personality through his/her behaviors that are only shown between the relatives.
It is a hard job to find out one's real personality unless you live with them.
However I hardly think it's a good idea to live with relatives, because it is better not to know.
Hi this is Dana Eun from your class and here is my comment on your paragraph.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked about this paragraph is that you used your own example to support your argument. It is very effective and persuasive. It was easy to understand what you were trying to say.
There wasn't any part that I could not understand or wasn't clear. Your sentences are very simple and neat.
A part that i liked the most is "It is a hard job to find out one's real personality" because I totally agree with this. Also it shows how much you learned from the experience you had with your aunt. This makes your argument stronger.
IF there is one thing you can do to improve your writing it would be rewriting the conclusion part. It was okay but I feel like your conclusion is not well organized compared to your previous parts. It sounded kind of strong and awkward when you said you better not know the personality. Maybe giving some more supportings about this part would be better. Like saying how this personality knowing can ruin the relationship between people.
Nice work and thanks for sharing your paragraph!:)
Hi, this is Ji-young from writing class. Your writing is very persuasive because you gave your real experience. Your intend seems very clear but I wish you end up in a sentence that clarifies reasons why you don't recommend living with relatives. Describing an episode that made you angry would make your writing more constructive. Overall, your writing shows your opinion well. See you in class!
ReplyDelete