Special Gift for Parents
Few days ago, it was the Parents' Day. To make my parents happy, I bought some gifts. Then, how should I choose the special gifts? There are some steps that I'm thinking and preparing for the Parent's day. First, I think about my parents' overall situations: age, life and their needs. Now they're getting older and sometimes they said that they were worried about their health. So, I think if I buy a gift then I'll buy some gift for their health. Second, in practical preparation, my younger brother and I were sharing the role for preparing the Parents' day. My younger brother decided to buy carnations and I decided to buy gifts. Third, I bought some cosmetics sets included moisture cream, nutrition cream, and essence for my mother. And also I bought running shoes and exercise gloves for my father. Finally, my younger brother and I wrote letters for my parents and give special gifts and letters to my parents. It was very successful. My parents are very happy and also my younger brother and I feel worthwhile.
Hi, I'm yoon jung from your class!
ReplyDeleteI also wrote about the process on parents' day!
I think your topic sentence is " There are some steps that I'm thinking and preparing for the Parent's day. ". And it clearly states the whole paragraph. I also see time orders like first, second, third, finally.I like the part you mentioned about background information why you choose the cosmetics and running shoes. But I think it could be better if you write more details about the process while choosing the present. Thx for sharing your story! See you in class!
Hi this is Kahee Lee.
ReplyDeleteI read your paragraph and I think it was very simple, but had everything you wanted to way.
however, because you started as a past tense, I think it would be better if your writing were on the same time line, meaing your other sentences should be also written in past tense.
The steps you introduced were quite clear and I had no problem understanging your whole writing.
I would like a little bit more details in the writing, maybe a bit longer paragraph.
Thanks and see you in class.