(Introduction to Academic Writing (1)) Mon.12Jon H. Bahk-HalbergPark Jae Hyun(박재현)201101411 Due date: 2012/5/3 Topic: A process paragraph about things that might be helpful to someone else
Sleep shorter, be healthier!
Did you sleep well last night? If you have suffered from insomnia or have felt uncomfortable despite of long enough sleep, you need to pay extra attention following steps. First, take a shower for about 20~30minutes in warm water. It would be better if temperature is around 30. Warm water will make you relaxed. Second, drink a cup of warm milk. There is a tryptophan in milk which makes you sleepy. Third, wear a pajama. Pajama is not only comfortable because it is loose fitting but also it has psychological effect. In other words, it is like a casting a spell on you that you turn switch in your mind to sleep mode. For this you do not need to buy a fancy pajama. Just an old, torn T-shirt is enough. But make sure you wear it every time when you sleep, so that you unconsciously imagine yourself sleeping by just looking at it. Fourth, remember that the bed is only place for sleeping. Other things such as reading books or doing homework lying on bed distract you from deep sleep. Finally, fill your mind with happy memories. For example, although you were scolded harshly by professor at class, you better try to be happy, considering that bad emotions make your brain strain and prevent you from deep sleep. Human being is programmed to sleep. And statically, it is reported that people spend one third of their lives for sleep. So why don't you try to manage sleep? Try it today! Sleep shorter and be healthier. |
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Jae Hyun Park/ A process paragraph about things that might be helpful to someone else/ Mon 9 am
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Hi, this is Ji-young JANG from your writing class. Here is my comment.
ReplyDeleteI liked the introduction starting with question. It attracts me to read the text. And I liked the conclusion part that encourages to follow your method for sleeping well. But I don't get the meaning of 'sleep shorter, be healthier'. The text doesn't say sleeping shorter lead to healthy body. I think you need more explanation for that. And I think those information you said would be great for people who have insomnia. See you in class!
Hi. I'm Lee Myungjae.I think your writing would be very helpful for many young people including me because I heared there are lots of those who suffer from insomnia at least minor. I liked the way you leads the topic in a natural and easy way. That makes your writing apealing and engaging.But I wonder why you made the title 'sleep shorter, be healthier.' Because you actually didn't talk about the advantages of short sleep. In my thought, it would better to make it like..'sleep well, be healthier' or 'how to fall in sleep quickly'. Also, you seemed to list many different ways how to get sleepy, not the steps. What I mean is what you arranged are not related to each other. I think If you make a series of orders, your writing would be more coherent.Thanks:)
ReplyDelete(Introduction to Academic Writing (1)) Mon.12
ReplyDeleteJon H. Bahk-Halberg
Park Jae Hyun(박재현)201101411
Draft:2
Topic: A process paragraph about things that might be helpful to someone else
Sleep Well, Be Healthier!
Did you sleep well last night? If you have suffered from insomnia or still felt uncomfortable despite of long enough time of sleep, you need to pay extra attention to following steps. First, drink a cup of warm milk. Milk has a tryptophan making you sleepy. Second, take a shower for about 20~30minutes under the warm water that is as same as your usual body temperature. It relaxes your body. Third, wear a pajama. Pajama is not only comfortable but also it has psychological effect. In other words, it is like a casting a spell on you that you turn switch in your mind to sleep mode. For this, you do not have to buy a fancy pajama. Just an old, torn T-shirt is enough. But make sure you wear it every time when you sleep, so that you unconsciously imagine yourself sleeping by just looking at it. Fourth, when you lie on a bed, do not do anything. Remember that the bed is only place for sleeping. Other things such as reading books or doing homework lying on bed would make your brain alert, distracting you from deep sleeping. Finally, fill your mind with happy memories. For example, although you were scolded harsh by professor at class, you better try to be happy, considering that bad emotions make your brain strain and prevent you from deep sleep. Human being is programmed to sleep. And statically, it is reported that people spend one third of their lives for sleep. So why don't you try to manage sleep? Try it today! Sleep well and be healthier.