How to Pack for the Moving
Introduction to Writing Mon 9-11am
201101068 ChaiHyeon Nah
I know that for some people, it is not easy to pack for moving. But I am really good at it since I had so many chances to pack before; I stayed in a dormitory in high school and I am now living in a studio alone. First, buy many boxes and put name cards on them so that you would know what is in where. It would be better if you be specific enough to find the right box when you are unpacking them in the new place. Second, you should pack your carry-out bag. Put the most important things first. For example, toothbrush, lotion, a pair of underwear, etc. Pack everything else except for big items like a bed or a table. Lastly, you better call the moving center to help you move your stuffs. Make sure you put special marks on fragile objects. Then, you can simply move yourself and your family in your car, with your carry-out bag!
Hi, i am Kim you jin, i will give you comment.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you arrange it well by using time order words. i can know how to pack well. and you also wrote tools needed to pack. also, in the first part, you provided the background of the packaging. i think your sriting is consisted of many detailed abjectives. however, if you add more process about it, and expalin why thi process is needed, it will be better. for example, you can explain how it is useful : if you know well about how to pack well, you don't have waste time too much packaging. thank you!!
Hi, I'm Jae-Hun Lee. This is my feedback for your writing.
ReplyDelete1. Your paragraph have a topic senetence. your main point is how to pack for the moving.
2. you provide background information about the process like this: "But I am really good at it since I had so many chances to pack before; I stayed in a dormitory in high school and I am now living in a studio alone."
3. your paragraph have time order word like "first, second, lastly..."
4. you explain the tool such as "box and carry-out bag.."
5. the concluding sentence give a suggestion like "Make sure you put special marks on fragile objects. Then, you can simply move yourself and your family in your car, with your carry-out bag!"
Thank you and see you next week!