When is the marriageable age?
According to the report, marriageable age is in early 30s in 2011. More women want to get married later. Because most of them want to work and they think marriage stands in the way of promotion. But is it true? I think mid 20s is the best age to get married. First, mid 20s is the best age to have a baby. According to the obstetricians, mid 20s is the most perfect body to have a baby. Because of the risk of miscarriage and birth children with disability will decrease. So she can have a healthy baby. Second, mid 20s is the best age to raise a baby. It is good for mom and baby. Most of women think having a baby early will not help her career. Actually it isn't. In that age most of women have low position in her workplace. So she doesn't have any pressure on maternity leave or day off. As her position in workplace higher, her child older that doesn't need parents' help anymore. So it helps women's career. And child could have young mom who can understand easily because the age gap isn't big, so she just like a friend to child. Third, marrying in that age is good for rookie women. Like I said, most of women start their job. As a first step into the real world, they will get hurt and so much stressful. Then her husband will stand by her. And he will become a pillar of hope for his wife. Mid 20s is the best age to get married. It's good for herself and baby.
it takes longer to find your opinion because it is placed on fifth. but i think it doesn't matter in your writing because the former sentences work as a background.
ReplyDeleteBut, I think first ground and the second one; having a baby and raising a baby is similar to each other. So It would make no difference if you put the two things into one ground.
And I agree your opinion that the ideal age to get married.
Not only it is appropriate time when the women have and raise the baby,
but also it is better that, as a woman, It is hard to get our own life, isn't' it?
So, My friends who get married early and have babies say,
"I can have my own life when i raised them quickly.
about in 6 years, they go to the school, and i get to have my own life because I'll be still young!
Then you guys have to get married and start your marriage life.
and if you send your kids and want to have your own life, It might be a little late."
what a realistic benefit when a woman get married her 20's, huh?
Hi. This is Lee Myungjae.
ReplyDeleteI found your writing interesting. Referring to reports in some parts was a good approach. and the supporting sentences you made were strong. But, I suggest you make sure where you found those sources to make readers more convinced because to merely say 'According to the report', readers may question it thinking 'What reports? Who made it?'
You topic senctence is clear, though it's placed in a bit back to figure out; I think mid 20s is the best age to get married. Also, the reasons why you see this way is solid. Actually I'd thought that mid20s is quite an early age to get married before I read you writing, but now I'm more inclined to your opinion. Thank you for sharing your sincere thoughts. It really worths reading. See you in class!
When is the marriageable age?
ReplyDeleteAccording to the public report, marriageable age is in early 30s in 2011. More women want to get married later. Because most of them want to work and they think marriage stands in the way of promotion. But is it true? I think mid 20s is the best age to get married. First, it is the best age to have a baby. According to the obstetricians, woman who is in mid 20s could have the most perfect body to have a baby. Because of the risk of miscarriage and birth children with disability will decrease. So she can have a healthy baby. Second, it is good age to raise a baby. It is good for mom and baby. Most of women think having a baby early will not help her career. Actually it isn’t. In that age most of women have low position in her workplace. So she doesn’t have any pressure on maternity leave or day off. As her position in workplace higher, her child older that needs parents’ help much less than before. So it helps women’s career. And child could have young mom who can understand easily because the age gap isn’t big, so she just like a friend to child. Third, marrying in that age is good for rookie women. Like I said, most of women start their job in that age. As a first step into the real world, they will get hurt and so much stressful. Then her husband will stand by her. And he will become a pillar of hope for his wife. Mid 20s is the best age to get married. It’s good for herself and baby.