Terrible teachers
I've experienced many teachers in my life. Some of them were greatly respectful for their good personality and excellent teaching, but there were also awful teachers that I never forget until now. I met one of them in the 6th grade. He was our home room teacher, but he was very aggressive and short-tempered. Once, our class was a bit noisy during recess and we didn't stop talking until our home room teacher came. When he got to class, he was so angry at us because we were not being quiet. The next day morning, he came to class with an iron pipe in his hand. He was still angry about yesterday's incident. He cursed at us saying 'You are all bad eggs and you're going to live the rest of your lives as losers!' and smashed a wooden bookshelf with the pipe in front of our eyes. Then he physically punished us with the same pipe. We all ended crying with bruises on our hips. The second worst teacher came when I was in my first year in high school. After summer vacation finished, our class elected new president and vice-president for the second semester. I became a vice-president of class, and I could get friendly with my home room teacher. She did very nicely to me, so I liked her but it didn't go long. A month later, the teacher suddenly called to my mom. She said, "Your daughter became a vice-president of class, but why don't you visit me?" My mom and I were embarrassed because it sounded like 'Bring me some money or presents'. Maybe visiting teacher after becoming a president or vice-president of class is a good manner, and it's a pity that my mom didn't know that. Nevertheless, we felt that she wanted something more. So my mom visited her and gave her some money and present. This was illegal, but she just took it naturally. We were so disappointed at her. Even now, when I talk about my school years, I mention those two teachers and tell how terrible they were. I don't know they are still teaching students, but I hope they are now being more generous and conscientious so that don't make any victims like me.
Sorry i wrote my name incorrectly. This is Lee Myungjae.
ReplyDeleteHi, I am Kim you jin. this is your comment.
ReplyDeletei think your paragraph is well balanced in terms of EQuIP stratedy.
you well explained a terrible teacher in particular way after the sentence 'He was our home room teacher, but he was very aggressive and short-tempered'. also, you gave quotations and examples. and you gave illustaration about your first terrible teacher's behavior according to the time lime. however i think it will be better to add some good teachers. thank you !!
Hello this is MinKyong and here's my feedback.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph is really well organized in EQuIP way. Trough your writings I could learn what kind of bad teachers you encountered in the past thanks to well placed examples and quotations. But I thought that adding more illustraions would make this piece of work better! Like how it sounded like when the teacher smashed the wooden shelf with the pipe.
Anyway I liked your work. See you in the class!
To Kahee Lee, Lee Myungaje, Sora Kim From Park Jae Hyun Assignment Pinning it Down writing (Exercise B)
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is your sincerity! Wow, some contents in your writing are little bit hard to express public, but you are not reluctant to do it.
2. Your main point seems to be two bad teachers. One was in your 6th grade and the other was in the first grade in high school. And your main points are pretty clear.
3. In my view your writing lacks EquIPment. EquIP stands for examples, quotations, illustrations and particulars. Well, I don’t think you do not have to use all of fours, but I believe reminding them really helpful. Through this writing I only got one occasion for each teacher. I got what the occasion was like. But still I am not sure about those two teachers. Give me some more reasons that they are ultimate bad teachers. For example you wrote that ‘He was our home room teacher, but he was very aggressive and short-tempered’. And you said that he hit elementary school students with iron pipe. Well, aggressive and short-tempered are still big words. Please give me some more detailed information. Remember these things do not have to be true. You can just bring your own imaginary story.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
There are two words that are not clear to me, recess and bad eggs. Well, I strongly feel that recess is not appropriate word. I think just break time is enough. You may better look up the usage of recess in google.
And the word bad eggs is really unfamiliar with me. Why don’t you choose another one?
5. The changes you could make that would make the improvement in this piece of writing is focusing. You are trying to cover two teachers. But remember our professor limited this writing for about 150words, while yours close to 370words right now. I already said that you are lack of EQuIPment, right? Then why don’t you focus on one teacher and make it more detail and vivid?
I enjoyed your writing. Thanks see you in class~
Hi, this is Youn Hee and here is my feedback.
ReplyDeleteI think it would be better if you put more examples of the situation or what happened. But I liked that you gave much illustrations about the terrible situation happened on the 6th grade. With your quotation and your explanation, I could know how much he was “aggressive and short-tempered” as you said. Also, how much you and your mother would have been embarrassed.
Thank you for your writing and see you in class! :)
Terrible teachers
ReplyDeleteI've experienced many teachers in my life. Some of them were greatly respectful for their good personality and excellent teaching, but there were also awful teachers that I never forget until now. I met one of them in the 6th grade. He was our home room teacher, but he was very aggressive and short-tempered. Once, our class was a bit noisy during recess and we didn't stop talking until our home room teacher came. When he got to class, he was so angry at us because we were not being quiet. The next day morning, he came to class with an iron pipe in his hand. He was still angry about yesterday's incident. He cursed at us saying 'You are all bad eggs and you're going to live the rest of your lives as losers!' and smashed a wooden bookshelf with the pipe in front of our eyes. Then he physically punished us with the same pipe. We all ended crying with bruises on our hips. The second worst teacher came when I was in my first year in high school. After summer vacation finished, our class elected new president and vice-president for the second semester. I became a vice-president of class, and I could get friendly with my home room teacher. She did very nicely to me, so I liked her but it didn't go long. A month later, the teacher suddenly called to my mom. She said, "Your daughter became a vice-president of class, but why don't you visit me?" My mom and I were embarrassed because it sounded like 'Bring me some money or presents'. It wasn’t sure but we felt like she wants something more. So my mom visited her and gave her some money and present. This was illegal, but she just took it naturally. We were so disappointed at her. Even now, when I talk about my school years, I mention those two teachers and tell how terrible they were. I don't know they are still teaching students, but I hope they are now being more generous and conscientious so that don't make any victims like me