Pets - Keeps People Alive
Are pets good companions? I totally agree with that idea like most people do. From old times, people have believed that pets enrich our lives. Nowdays lots of researches have been done. Among them, one has got an interesting conclusion. A research on the elders who live alone concluded that the elder who live with pets live longer than whom do not. The researchers gave two main reasons. First one is that it's beneficial to people on the aspect of psychology. Pets make people laugh, cry or even talk to them. It gives a great advantage for people who live alone not to have depression. Also it makes people feel alive. Second reason they insist was that pets are good for human's health. If their pets are the animal which are needed to take a walk or move somehow, it makes people move, too. Because they go out with their pets and walk around, it gives people opportunity to exercise. With other reasons, pets are wonderful animals to help people live longer. Other than this reason - helping people live longer-, pets have been good companions and will be also.
Hi this is Kahee Lee.
ReplyDeleteYour main point is that pets are good companions for people and I can see that in the topic sentence. But I think combining the first and second sentence would make a better topic sentence. Your reasons were reliable, because they were from experts. I do think that you could have added some of your original reasons of why you think pets are good companion for people, since this is about your opinion. Thanks!
Hello, Ji-young! I’m Jeong Hyen Joo, and this is my feedback.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really enjoyed your writing because you and I have an opposite point of view. It was interesting to see the opinion which is quite different from mine. I think your main point is that pets are good companions. So, your topic sentence will be “From old times, people have believed that pets enrich our lives.” What I liked about this writings is that it has a unity in your structure. There were no unrelated stories in you paragraph. But, there is something that I want to change in your writing. There aren’t many experiences or explanations in your paragraph. Your paragraph is full of facts. It would be better if you add more experience because it makes your writing more vividly. I really wanted to see your own experience in this paragraph.
Thank you, and see you next time!