It's a story that encouraged me to learn English harder. It happened 5 years ago, when I was in United States as an exchange student. It was a hot summer day and the air conditioning system in school didn't work well. Walking down the hall way for 6th period, I was knocked out because of hot air. As I entered the class room I saw my two U.S. history teachers and said, 'Oh my goodness, I am hot!' At that very moment, they chuckled but their faces were saying 'What does she talking about?' I didn't know why they acted like that. So I asked my host mom on the way home. She laughed and explained, 'They might have misunderstood what you said. "I am hot" means that you are on a roll and you boast about that.' I was so embarrassed of saying 'I am hot' instead of 'It's hot.' I thought, 'What if they think of me as boasting person who doesn't know any modesty.' Then I was reminded of the English class in middle school. I recognized that I had learned that few years ago. It is so basic thing! I learned English for several years and couldn't think of difference between 'I am hot' and 'It's hot.' I was disappointed with myself. After this episode happened, I made up my mind to study English much harder. It led me to finish my english grammar book that I brought from Korea. With finishing that book, I could be much more confident when I talk with natives in everyday life.
Hi I am Kim you jin. this is your comment.
ReplyDeleteit is very embarassed exprience. you represent your emotion how you were shame at that time knowing the difference between i am hot and it is hot. you describe an events so i can understand the situation better. however it will be better if you make topic sentence and concluding sentence more clearly. i think it is rather ambiguous. for example, you can define your embarassed experience by your own word and just add it to the topic sentence and make coherence with it to concluding sentence. thank you!! see you
Hello, this is Dana from your class and here is my comment on your paragraph.
ReplyDeleteYour story is very funny. I can imagine how you would have felt when you realized your mistake.
What I like about your writing is that it is simple yet has all the details needed. Also, you wrote how this incident has helped you study more. I liked this also because it shows how that affected you.
Your main point seems to be what you achieved through your embarrassing moment.
There wasn't any part that was unclear to me. Your sentences are easy to read and understand.
The part where it struck me the strongest was where you said "It led me to finish my english grammar book that I brought from Korea." It showed your characteristics, how strong willed and hard working person you are.
If there is one thing you can do to improve your writing, that would be rewriting the conclusion part. It was okay but maybe trying to make it cohesive with the topic sentence. Also, you can add more details about how much more you did to improve your english skills and what has changed from that day on. How do you do nowadays?
Good writing and see you in class:)!