A Sense of Place
When I was a child, I lived in a roofed-house located near Gyeong Bok Palace. It was one of the oldest parts in Seoul, so there are a lot of quaint houses. The beautiful site of neighborhood was imprinted in my memory. Each house had a small garden, and we had one, too. It was too small to call a garden, but for my family, it was the best place to enjoy free time together. On weekends, we had meals together on the garden as if we were on picnic. We often had sandwich seating on the bench in our garden. Still I remember how delicious it was. There were huge windows to the garden, so it was always sunny in the living room. We had a yellow curtain on the windows, so the whole living room became yellow when the sun shined. My mother usually kept one or more flowers in the vase on the table. When she brought home new flowers, the fresh scent was full in the living room. This house was reconstructed and changed into the house where I live now, but I do not forget the my old beautiful cozy house.
hello this is Mi Jung Lee :)
ReplyDeleteI like your writing! It's neat and natural in flow, simple but also contains neccessary contents. I get the idea of the place,too.
How about building up your ending part a bit more? Because this writing is to write about the 'sense' that we get from certain places, I think your feeling about the place should be added a little more in the end. In about one sentence? because your writing is simple :)
Hello I am SunGyung Kim and this is my comment on your writing.
ReplyDelete1. What I like about the piece of your writing is the topic itself. It reminds me of a beatiful and lovely place so that it gives me a positive energy of a family. The topic sentence gives the clue of it.
2. You included background information about the topic and it seems enough.
3. Descriptive details are included but I need you should put those more. background information is more conspicuous than the descriptive part.
4. You used specific words such as beautiful and cozy.
5. adjectives like delicious, huge, sunny...etc helps your writing more descriptive.
6. I think your word choice was very good regarding the description.
7. The paragraph has a concluding sentence and I really loved it.
A Sense of Place
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a child, I lived in a roofed-house located near Gyeong Bok Palace. It was one of the oldest parts in Seoul, so there are a lot of quaint houses. The beautiful site of neighborhood was imprinted in my memory. Each house had a small garden, and we had one, too. It was too small to call a garden, but for my family, it was the best place to enjoy free time together. On weekends, we had meals together on the garden as if we were on picnic. We often had sandwich seating on the bench in our garden. Still I remember how delicious it was. Since a whole side of wall in living room was the windows to the garden, it was always sunny in the living room. We had a yellow curtain on the windows, so the whole living room became yellow when the sun shined. My mother usually kept one or more flowers in the vase on the table. When she brought home new flowers, the fresh scent of flowers was full in the living room. This house was reconstructed and changed into the house where I live now, but I do not forget the my old beautiful cozy house.