A worst waiter
My friend thinks that a worst waiter is someone who is indifferent to customers. She told me a story that she had experienced in restaurant. She went to a restaurant to eat dinner with her family. After choosing what she wanted to eat, she called a waiter who seemed to be preoccupied with his work. She told that his face had been stern, he had not been smile. She told that it had been difficult to order. Also, when the waiter gave food she had ordered, he continuously maintained that face, she said. Not trying have a conversation with customers, he only did his work. he just set up the food and went right away. she added that even when they checked the pay, he didn't say anything. She thought that he had seemed to be indifferent to his customers. Of course, Taste, sanity, quality of food are also important for customers. However, we feel not only the taste of food but also air of the restaurant. And the attitude of a waiter determines most of the air. We want to smile even when eating. It can be a key source which makes us enjoy the food. In these reasons, a worst waiter who has apathy to others is the worst. Apathy cannot be a good seasoning. A waiter must be able to pour one's concerns, interest to customers.
Hi You Jin, this is Youn Hee from the writing class :)
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your paragraph, I could feel how much your friend would have been displeased about the waiter's behavior.
What I liked about your writing is the conclusion. I liked that you mentioned about smiling when eating. I think it's important to eat in a good mood too.
I can see that your topic sentence is 'My friend thinks that a worst waiter is someone who is indifferent to customers.'.
It's impressive that you chose the word 'apathy'.
But I think if you changed the word 'indifferent' on the 9th line with its synonym, it would be better and more abundant.
Thank you for your writing!
See you in class :)
I can see that the topic sentence introduces the topic very well.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is that you described the situation very well.
I also like the fact that you tried to conclud the paragraph with a closing sentence.
However, I think there need to be some changes in selcetion of words. Such as "indifferent"
Also some words make me stumble(?)
Interrupts my reading.
Such as "In these reasons"
or " he had not been smile"
I think it should be changed in to
"For these reasons"
"he had not been smiling" and so on.
It's just minor grammar mistakes. I think you can take good care fo it~
A worst waiter
ReplyDeleteMy friend thinks that a worst waiter is someone who is indifferent to customers. She told me a story that she had experienced in restaurant. She went to a restaurant to eat dinner with her family. After choosing what she wanted to eat, she called a waiter who seemed to be preoccupied with his work. She told that his face had been stern, he had not been smiling. She told that it had been difficult to order. Also, when the waiter gave food she had ordered, he continuously maintained that face, she said. Not trying have a conversation with customers, he only did his work. he just set up the food and went right away. she added that even when they checked the pay, he didn't say anything. She thought that he had seemed to be unconcerned to his customers. Of course, Taste, sanity, quality of food are also important for customers. However, we feel not only the taste of food but also air of the restaurant. And the attitude of a waiter determines most of the air. We want to smile even when eating. It can be a key source which makes us enjoy the food. For these reasons, a worst waiter who has apathy to others is the worst. Apathy cannot be a good seasoning. A waiter must be able to pour one's concerns, interest to customers.