There is a fitness center I daily go. It's near my house, Hwajeong, and on the 7th floor of The SaveZone. Just a moment ago, I went there so I can perfectly describe the place. Firstly when I take the elevator to the 7th floor, There is a counter right in front where two stafves are always ready to welcome customers with smile. From the counter, the right side is men's powder room and the left side is women's powder room. From shower stall, sauna to swimming pool, everything is equipped, and perhaps vice versa for women's powder room. Anyway after changing my clothes to sportswear, theb I begin to excercise. There are about 50 kinds of sports equipment, and also group exercise zone which have many helpful programes like yoga and pilates class. Also there are 4 men fitness trainers and they often give advice on how to excercise efficently. I try to go to gym whenever possible not only to excercise but also to meet friends. We often meet and excercise together, talking about how we are doing recently. So I always recommend to my friends to excercise together, telling how good our gym is.
Hi, this is ChaiHyun Nah from your monday writing class. I really enjoyed your writing. Since I know your city, HwaJung, it was even more interesting to read about your gym. And you also did good job describing the gym's location and the contents. However, it might be better if you use more senses to describe your gym, not just eye, but also smell, touch,... things like that.
ReplyDeleteThank you
There is a fitness center I go everyday. It's near my house, Hwajeong, and on the 7th floor of The SaveZone. Just a moment ago, I went there so I can perfectly describe the place. Firstly when I take the elevator to the 7th floor, There is a counter right in front where two stafves are always ready to welcome customers with smile. From the counter, the right side is men's powder room and the left side is women's powder room. From shower stall, sauna to swimming pool, everything is equipped, and perhaps vice versa for women's powder room. Anyway after changing my clothes to sportswear, then I begin to excercise. There are about 50 kinds of sports equipments. Among them I use only three things, which are dorsal exercise machine, dumb-bell and chest machine. As you can see all of them are for upper body. That's because I always walk when going school. Also there is group exercise zone which have many helpful programs like yoga and pilates class, but I haven't tried yet cause nobody is man. After about 1 hour of exercise. I directly go to sauna and rest up there. The hot spring is 39℃ so all the fatigue acumulated through the day go away. I try to go to gym whenever possible not only to excercise but also to meet friends. We often meet and excercise together, talking about how we are doing recently. That's why I try to go to gym, even though I'm busy.
ReplyDeleteMinju Yeo
ReplyDeleteI was impressed that you actually visited the place to write the paragraph :)
What I liked about your writing is that you described the place so specific since you've been there recently.
I think your writing will improve if you give the readers some sighn that you are going to move on to the next place. For example transitional words.
And I think concluding sentence is somewhat not strong, so you sholud conclude your paragraph better.