Some might have never guessed me playing sports but I am an athletic person. I enjoy watching them but more than that, I love playing sports. My teenage life cannot be described without sports. First of all, I am good at fast running. I used to be always on the first place for running and in high school, I was the representative runner of my class on school's sports day. Not only am I good at running but I like the sport itself. In junior high, I joined school's track and field team to exercise regularly. I enjoyed being in the team and going to the practice twice a week. Another example of me being athletic is that I was in the school's girls' basketball team in high school. My teammates and I loved basketball that we would get up early in the morning on weekends to practice and sometimes, we practiced during lunch period. On the school's sports day, my team won the first prize and it was really meaningful for me. Lastly, I often go to nearby parks with my friend for jogging, basketball, etc. My high school friends enjoy sports too. So I go exercising with them when I have time. I feel refreshed and positive when I exercise. I may not look like someone who enjoys sports but I am very athletic person.
To Dana from Sora
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about this piece of writing is that you use proper examples.
Your main point seems to be that you are an athletic person even though you look doesn't like an athletic person.
My teammates and I loved basketball that we would get up early in the morning on weekends to practice and sometimes, we practiced during lunch period. In this sentence I realized that you love sport!
Your writing is good. But I think your writing is a little bit disorganized and distracted. Changing sentence's order would be better for your writing.
Hi, this is ChaiHyun Nah from your monday writing class;)
ReplyDeleteOverall, your writing is well organized, and it has good examples helping readers to understand more about your personality. I also really like about your usage of 'life examples', it makes your writing more interesting and realistic.
However, I'm not sure rather you just wanted to emphasize your love toward sport, but I thought it would be better if you use more adjectifs to describe your characteristics.
Thank you, and see you tomorrow!:)
Some might have never guessed me playing sports but I am an athletic person. I am active and likes to watch or play sports. I was involved in many sport related activities that my teenage life cannot be described without sports. First of all, I used to be always on the first place for running and in high school, I was the representative runner of my class on school's sports day three years in a row. Not only was I good at running but I liked it also. In junior high, I joined school's track and field team for the passion for running and exercising. I enjoyed being in the team and going to the practice twice a week. Through this, I could exercise regularly and make myself fit and healthy and make more progress on my running ability. Another example of me being athletic is that I was in the school's girls' basketball team in high school. My teammates and I loved basketball that we would get up early in the morning on weekends to practice and sometimes, we practiced during lunch period. On the school's sports day, my team won the first prize and it was really meaningful for me. Nowadays, it is hard to have a time for exercising due to all the school works and part-time job. But whenever I have time, I would go to nearby parks for jogging, playing basketball, etc. I feel refreshed and positive when I exercise. Also it helps me to build up my muscles and make my body fit, so I try to go exercising. This is me, enjoying sports and loving myself doing the sports.
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