When I recall my memories of my childhood, I always think of my grandparents' house. Because my mom and dad both worked, I had to stay with my grandparents and spend most of the time at their house. Grandparents' house had a beautiful garden full of flowers and bugs which were my toys at that time. There was a dog named YaeBbi and he was a good friend of mine, too. Scents of flowers, trees, fresh air and grandparents' love filled the atmosphere of the house. There was nothing funnier than playing in the garden with my grandparents. Digging up the ground, finding worms with YaeBbi. The memories that I have made in my grandparents' house were the happiest pictures of my life. Now, I know that the scent of the place cannot be exactly the same from my sense of memories. I have grew up so much, grandfather passed away, houses nearby became too high that makes my grandparents' house so small. For these reasons, the house is not the same anymore. However, I have this happy, peaceful sense of memory that I can always take out from my heart and remember those old times. The place still exists and whenever I visit there, I can remember the old happy times with my grandparents and YaeBbi.
Hi, this is Takgyun!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your paragraph. While reading your writing, I could imagine the place very well. You described the garden specifically by mentioning lots of things you did there. However, the description inside your house is not sufficient. In your writing, the place is your house. But most of the writing consist of the garden part. So, it would be much better if you add more things about the house itself. Also, it's a story of a family and you can add some taste of home-made food! Well done :)
See you in class~!
HI, I'm Ji-young from writing class. On your writing, I can imagine how your grandparents' house was with YaeBbi. But I think it could be better if you write more descriptive words like colors, sizes, shapes. You used abstract words, so I couldn't imagine the details of the house and YaeBbi. See you in class;)
ReplyDeleteHello this is Eun Dana from your class. I read your writing with interest because I never had a experience of playing in the garden, or nature so much.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about this writing is that your memory and feelings of grandparents are well expressed. Also, it shows how special the moments with grandparents are to you.
The main point of your paragraph seems to be the happy times you had with your grandparents and your attachment to them.
The phrase "the happiest pictures of my life." struck me strong because I could feel the affection you have about your childhood memory.
There was not any parts of phrases that I couldn't understand. Your sentences are pretty neat and simple.
The one thing that could help to improve your writing would be adding more details about the house. For example, where the house is located, the interior of the house, structure of the rooms and more. This way, you will be able to help the reader visualize what your grandparents' house looks like.
Nice job and see you in class!:)