A Worker Bee
"Worker Bee" might be the word that describes me the best. I've been taking part in various kinds of events since the start of my freshman year. Most of my school year, no, practically my whole school year was related to Student Council. For example, last year I was the representative of German Department, class of 11'. As the one, I was in charge of a lot of things. Last year we ran two one-day pubs, one in the spring and the other one in the fall, where we sold alcohol beverages and snacks. I was one of the people in charge. I ran all over the place doing my job, purchasing things we need for the pub, cooking and serving. There were also other small or big things I did so far. Last winter vacation I came to school almost every day attending meetings for planning 3-day long trip with new incoming freshmen, Saeteo. Since the college of occidental languages, which my department belongs, is taking the largest proportion of the whole school, we had so much to do to provide students safe, fun and satisfying trip. I became very good friends with other students from other departments in the college of occidental languages. This led me to the election office of my college we ran last month. Now I'm working for the student council of the college itself. Other than that I also work in the faculty office 6 hours a week. I run errands for the professors and do some document related tasks. So far, reading my paragraph you might think that I do all those things all the time and put my studies behind. If you are, you've got it wrong. I put my effort in learning too, so that I earned the opportunity of being sent to Germany for the next semester. I always try to be responsible for the things on my hand and do the best I can.
Hi, it is NA RAE SON.
ReplyDeletethe word 'a worker bee' catches my eye. what a cute expression. and it also fits on you, your life style and pattern.
reading your paragraph, I could easily get how much you were responsible on many stuffs, and it was impressive.
and the latter part, you have explained that you are making much effort to catch up your studies too. I think that was needed to be referred, too.
I like the way you started the paragraph as well as you finished your writing. and I hope you will do good when you go to German!
Hi this is Wansoo cho. here is my comment
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you gave specific examples that make writting clear
2. Your main point seems to be your working hard personality and your thoughts about it.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful :
I think using Worker bee is excellent choice to show who you are
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is : overall I think there is no big problem. But it can be improved if you add your personal experiecne more. I mean you are just listing several examples not what you did in those events. just participating those many actities isn't enough to show you are workerbee.
A Worker Bee
ReplyDelete"Worker Bee" might be the word that describes me the best. I've been taking part in various kinds of events since the start of my freshman year. Most of my school year, no, practically my whole school year was related to Student Council. For example, last year I was the representative of German Department, class of 11'. As the one, I was in charge of a lot of things. Last year we ran two one-day pubs, one in the spring and the other one in the fall, where we sold alcohol beverages and snacks. I was one of the people in charge. I ran all over the place preparing for it, purchasing things we need for the pub, cooking and serving. There were also other small and big things I did so far. Last winter vacation I came to school almost every day attending meetings for planning 3-day long trip with new incoming freshmen, Saeteo. Since the college of occidental languages, which my department belongs, is taking the largest proportion of the whole school, we had so much to do to provide students safe, fun and satisfying trip. Through this experience I became very good friends with other students from other departments in the college of occidental languages. This led me to participate in the election office of my college we ran last month. Now I'm working for the student council of the college itself. This semester I’m in charge of the position as the director of pubic relations department. Other than that I also work in the faculty office 6 hours a week. I run errands for the professors and do some document related tasks. So far, reading my paragraph you might think that I do all those things all the time and put my studies behind. If you are, you've got it wrong. I put my effort in learning too. So far I’ve been studying German as hard as I could. Last winter I and my friends made a study group to earn the opportunity of being sent to Germany for the next semester and we made it! I always try to be (and I always will be) responsible for the things on my hand and do the best I can.