My cousin
There are many relatives around me, but what I like the most is my cousin. She is 23 years old, and I think she is the best relative in the whole world. First, she is so beautiful. I'm always surprised when I see her face. She really looks like Kim Tae Hee who is one of the most beautiful actresses in Korea. Because of that, every boy likes her and wants to be her boyfriend. I'm very proud about her. Second, she is really smart. She is a student of Seoul National University. Because she is a hardworking girl, she always gets a high grade in her test. Moreover, she gets a scholarship every year. So she doesn't have to pay her tuition. I have great admiration for her as a college student. Third, she is very kind to me. For example, when I worry about something, she listens to me and gives me some good advices. Also, whenever I say hungry, she buys me a delicious food. I'm so thankful to have that kind of cousin. In conclusion, she is my best friend, my best relative and my best role model. I really like her among the whole relatives and want to be a person like her someday.
Hi this is ChaiHyeon Nah from your Monday morning writing class.
ReplyDeleteI like your writing since I can understand your point clearly. Your cousin is really a great person, I suppose, according to your paragraph. Lucky you to have such a cousin! However you only gave us many examples for her being such a nice person. I think it might be better if you put some episodes of you and your cousin getting along to say she is the closest cousin of you.
Thank you and see you on Monday:)
Hello. I'm Takgyun!
ReplyDeleteYour point seems to be clear. You want to introduce your cousin and tell us you like her. The paragraph gives several reasons why you like her. But it only shows the bright side, I think. If you wrote other kinds of stories, the paragraph could be more interesting. It keeps saying the goodness but no other aspects. And it would be better if you add some episodes or happenings with her!
Thank you and see you in class!
My cousin
ReplyDeleteThere are many relatives around me, but what I like the most is my cousin. She is 23 years old, and I think she is the best relative in the whole world. First, she is so beautiful. I'm always surprised when I see her face. She really looks like Kim Tae Hee who is one of the most beautiful actresses in Korea. Because of that, every boy likes her and wants to be her boyfriend. I'm very proud about her. Second, she is really smart. She is a student of Seoul National University. Because she is a hardworking girl, she always gets a high grade in her test. Moreover, she gets a scholarship every year. So she doesn't have to pay her tuition. I have great admiration for her as a college student. Third, she is very kind to me. For example, when I worry about something, she listens to me and gives me some good advices. Also, whenever I say hungry, she buys me a delicious food. I'm so thankful to have that kind of cousin. Finally, she always smiles even though she is very sad. For example, her mother was sick in the hospital. Although it was very tough time to her, she didn’t lose her hope and cheered up other people. She has a positive mind every time. In conclusion, she is my best friend, my best relative and my best role model. I really like her among the whole relatives and want to be a person like her somed ay.