A Hardworking Girl
I am a hardworking girl. Not just finishing the homework in time, but I do my best in the work. First, I usually don't go to bed until I finish my today's homework. For example, if I decide to do the work until midnight, I always make it done no matter what happens. But that is something very difficult to practice because I can easily get into the temptation. While I do my homework, I always think about getting some sleep instead of finishing my job. So, to conquer that temptation, I usually drink stimulants like 'Red Bull', or coffee. I do try anything to make my work done before the deadline. Thus, I have never gotten any penalty because of lateness. Also, I always do my best in work. I don't stop working until I satisfy with it totally. To do my best, I usually make a lot of questions to the professor. It is a kind of tough thing to do, but I don't hesitate to ask what I can't understand about the work. And I often go to the library to do research about my work. I don't return to the home until I make my work perfect. To some people, it can be very annoying to have that kind of personality. But it always gives me the best result of my homework. So, I like my hardworking character. I always try to do my work perfectly, and I think that's one of my good advantages. Therefore, I think that I'm a hardworking girl.
Hi, this is Youn Hee of the writing class! I want to be a student like you! I wish to be a hardworking person too.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked in this paragraph is that you mentioned many examples to explain how much you are hardworking. I liked that you finish the work that you decide to do in that day. And I think it's good to be a student who makes a lot of questions.
But I think that what you wrote in the first part of the paragraph is more about someone 'punctual', not 'hardworking'. Maybe you wanted to express that you're a hardworking person by talking about finishing work in time. But for me, it's more someone who does things on time.
Anyways, I really enjoyed reading your writing. I think I have to try to be a student like you!
See you in class :)
Hi, this is SunGyung Kim from the writing class. I enjoyed your writing. It was very coherent. Here is my comment on your writing :)
ReplyDelete1. What I liked about this piece of writing is the coherence. All the sentences are connected closely and so this makes your writing even stronger and meaningful.
2. Your main point seems to be that you are a hardworking girl.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful : I do try anything to make my work done before the deadline. -> This sentence shows me how strongly you are into your study very well.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. The sentence "To some people, it can be very annoying to have that kind of personality" This doesn't give me an appropriate reason for your statement.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to add another conjunction 'For example' in the middle of your paragraph. you have two controlling ideas that you do your homework in time and you always do your best in every work. This would be separated so that readers can get your writing better. :)
I am a hardworking girl. Not just finishing the homework in time, but I do my best in the work which I have to do. First, I usually don't go to bed until I finish my today's homework. For example, if I decide to do the work until midnight, I always make it done no matter what happens. But that is something very difficult to practice because I easily get into a temptation. For instance, while I do my homework, I always think about getting some sleep instead of finishing my job. So, to conquer that temptation, I usually drink stimulants like Red Bull, or Maxim coffee. I do try anything to make my work done before the deadline. Thus, I have never gotten any penalty because of lateness. Second, I always do my best in the work which I have to do. I don't stop working until I satisfy with it totally. To do my best, I usually make a lot of questions to a professor. It is a kind of tough thing to do, but I don't hesitate to ask what I can't understand about the work. And I often go to the library to do research about my work. I don't return to the home until I make my work perfect. To some people, it can be very annoying to have that kind of personality. Because, with that personality, it can make the work more complicated and delayed. But it always gives me the best result of my homework. So, I like my hardworking character. I always try to do my work perfectly, and finish it before the deadline. Therefore, I think that I'm a hardworking girl, and I think that's one of my good advantages.
ReplyDelete