My best teacher, aunt Mi-Gyung
Of all the relatives, whom I like the most is my maternal aunt Mi-Gyung. My mother has three siblings, and she is the second oldest followed by my favorite relative Mi-Gyung. Mi-Gyung now lives in An Dong with her husband and two sons, and so we cannot gather together so often. However, I always miss her a lot because she has been the best teacher in my life since I was very young, and especially when I was going through adolescence. For example, I really loved her because she listened to me sincerely. When I was in trouble, I always asked her for advice, and she was invariably willing to help me. Specifically, in twelfth grade of high school, I once had a huge misunderstanding with my best friend. My other classmates were telling me that I should not speak to her until she apologized me. However, aunt Mi-Gyung recommended me that I should mend things up, by taking the initiative of apologizing first. Following her advice, I tried to talk to my best friend who had a trouble with me, and it revealed later that it was a misunderstanding in my part. Without Mi-Gyung's advice, I would never have figured out how to solve problem, which might cost our friendship. Also Mi-Gyung teaches me many valuable lessons in my life, such as understanding and appreciating differences between people. For instance, I had a friend in church, who was from India. She always ate food with her fingers without using any spoon of chopsticks, so students – including me – didn't want to eat with her just because it seemed strange and unsanitary. My aunt Mi-Gyung told me not to keep distance with the Indian girl, though. She told me that it is very important to appreciate differences between people and that would make my relationship go well. She was right, and after I decided to get close to the Indian girl without any prejudice to her behaviors, we became a best friend and even went to the same high school maintaining good rapport. All in all, aunt Mi-Gyung is the best teacher in my life by giving me good advice and teaching valuable lessons in my life.
To SunGyung Kim From Jae Hyun Park Assignment An example paragraph about your best relative
ReplyDelete1,I like three things in this piece of writing. First thing is from. If you look at the topic sentence and concluding sentence, Of all the relatives, whom I like the most is my maternal aunt Mi-Gyung. All in all, aunt Mi-Gyung is the best teacher in my life by giving me good advice and teaching valuable lessons in my life. , the things that must be illustrated in topic sentence and concluding sentence are so well illustrated. What I mean is that from the topic sentence I knew that you are going to talk about your aunt. And from the concluding sentence I could notice that she is meaningful for you because she gave you many advices and valuable lessons. I really appreciate that. And so far, all the supporting sentences quite support main ideas. Second thing is usage of words. I never heard the word, rapport or mend, before. I envy you because I’m often picked because my vocabularies are weak. Third thing is unique expressions, cost our friendship. This expression was really made my eyes fresh.
2,Your main point seems to be how your aunt Mi-Gyung is meaningful to you by giving two examples, your troubles with one of your favorite friends and removing prejudice about Indian girl. Examples themselves are quite interesting. I’d say that they are good choice.
3,These particular words or lines which struck me as powerful are followed. Once again I like your words such as gather together, mend and rapport because they are quite new to me, making your writing ample enough in terms of expressions. And I like your expressions such as which might cost our relationship. Once again this is very short sentence but expresses all you want to say. I like such expressions which are new to me.
4.Some things aren’t clear to me. My mother has three siblings, and she is the second oldest followed by my favorite relative Mi-Gyung. By this sentence do you mean that your aunt, Mi-Gyung is oldest and your mother is the second? I think you can improve this part by making clearer. And I don’t see other parts that are not clear because you addressed others really well.
5,The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is giving more detailed information about troubles which you had with your best friend. Currently, I feel like it is poorly addressed. In particular you said that the conflict was actually originated from you. If you approach this part I think your writing would be really improved.
Thank you for sharing with your writing with me. By the way are you graduated high school in U.S. or other countries? Because in Korea we don’t really use the expression, twelfth year in high school, right?
See you in class.
My best teacher, aunt Mi-Gyung
ReplyDeleteOf all the relatives, whom I like the most is my maternal aunt Mi-Gyung. My mother has three siblings and Mi-Gyung is the third oldest, after my mom among those. Mi-Gyung now lives in An Dong with her husband and two sons, and so we cannot gather together so often. However, I always miss her a lot because she has been the best teacher in my life since I was very young, and especially when I was going through adolescence. For example, I really loved her because she listened to me sincerely. When I was in trouble, I always asked her for advice, and she was invariably willing to help me. Specifically, in twelfth grade of high school, I once had a huge misunderstanding with my best friend. We were supposed to meet in downtown to buy things necessary for newt day's assignment but she made me stood up, not telling me that she's not coming. I was really upset and decided not to speak to her until she apologized me. However, aunt Mi-Gyung recommended me that I should mend things up, by taking the initiative of talking to her first. Following her advice, I tried to talk to my best friend who had a trouble with me, and it revealed later that it was a misunderstanding in my part. (I misunderstood the time and didn't answer my phone.) Without Mi-Gyung's advice, I would never have figured out how to solve problem, which might cost our friendship. Also Mi-Gyung teaches me many valuable lessons in my life, such as understanding and appreciating differences between people. For instance, I had a friend in church, who was from India. She always ate food with her fingers without using any spoon of chopsticks, so students – including me – didn't want to eat with her just because it seemed strange and unsanitary. My aunt Mi-Gyung told me not to keep distance with the Indian girl, though. She told me that it is very important to appreciate differences between people and that would make my relationship go well. She was right, and after I decided to get close to the Indian girl without any prejudice to her behaviors, we became a best friend and even went to the same high school maintaining good rapport. All in all, aunt Mi-Gyung is the best teacher in my life by giving me good advice and teaching valuable lessons in my life.