I have a special music that I listen to whenever I feel down and lost. It is 'The Climb' by an American teenage singer, Miley Cyrus. The first time I listened to this song was when I was in high school. From then, I listened to this song whenever I had trouble finding my way and every time, it gave me comfort and help. The song likens life to a mountain and gives an advice about living the life. It stresses the importance of 'climbing' the mountain and not what is on the other side or how fast you get there. In life, the 'climb' is the process and the steps that you take to reach certain goals. It is what you learn and achieve by going through those process that matters not the result. There are times that you might fail, and times that you want to give up because you are not sure of what you are doing. However, if you keep striving yourself, you will know that even if you fail, you have not labored in vain. And from what I have experienced, when you fail one time, generally you are to succeed the next time. So there is no need to hurry or panic about the lost. Every time I listen to this music, I feel the positive urge and courage to keep searching for what I want and live my life with faith in myself.
Thank you for the writing. I really enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteI love the fact that you choose a topic which is not preferred by most classmates.
Your uniqueness of topic made me urge to read your writing, and I love it !
I especially like the part where you describe the reasons of favoring the music.
Also, after the reading, it also encouraged me to look for the song "climb".
As a reader, I think your writing is very persuasive and neatly organized.
However, it would have been much better if you
elaborate the reason more on how you became to have depper attachment to the music.
For instance, I believe you didn't mention "high school years" for no reason. In my personal opinion the writing would be more intrigued if you put your personal expereinces more in the front of the wiriting.
Also I recommed you to make connection between your high school expereinces with the music.
In that way, you could make this writing a more sotry like.
Hi Dana ! This is SunGyung Kim :)
ReplyDeleteFirst,your writing is quite attractive because it gives a lesson through describing a piece of music. Though I've never listend to the song, I became curious about this thanks to your paragraph. Your main point seems to be your getting the positive urge and courage to keep searching for what you desire and live your life with faith by consistently listening to the song. In this paragraph, the most impressive part for me is the sentence; 'And from what I have experienced, when you fail one time, generally you are to succeed the next time.' This gives me a courage to not give up even if I am struggling with something and thank you very much to you :) However, the part that you mentiioned your high school life is not so clear because it lacks further description of the relationship between your hardship and the high school life. Also, the sentence; '...it gave me comfort and help' is vauge in usage of adjectives which are not specific enough. The one thing I recommed you is that you'd better improve this paragraph in more descriptive way since it seems like just a plain story telling one.
That's it and looking forward to see you in class next Monday !!
I have a special music that I listen to whenever I feel down and lost. It is 'The Climb' by an American teenage singer, Miley Cyrus. The first time I listened to this song was when I was in high school. In English conversation class, my teacher sometimes prepared a pop song for students to learn. The songs that she taught us were mostly about life and how we could deal with the hardships. I liked all of the songs but the one that moved me the most was ‘The Climb’. I was having a hard time preparing for university entrance because I felt like I was not going to make it. However, when I heard this song, I realized that what I need for the most is the faith in myself. Ever since I learned this song, I listened to it whenever I had trouble finding my way and it gave me comfort and help every time. The song likens life to a mountain and gives an advice about living the life. It stresses the importance of 'climbing' the mountain and not what is on the other side or how fast you get there. In life, the 'climb' is the process and the steps that you take to reach certain goals. It is what you learn and achieve by going through those process that matters not the result. There are times that you might fail, and times that you want to give up because you are not sure of what you are doing. However, if you keep striving yourself, you will know that even if you fail, you have not labored in vain. And from what I have experienced, when you fail one time, generally you are to succeed the next time. So there is no need to hurry or panic about the lost. Every time I listen to this music, I feel the positive urge and courage to keep searching for what I want and live my life with faith in myself.
ReplyDelete