Listening to others
If I live in the world that everybody says something about me, I would not be able to do anything but just listen to them. Some people might say listening others is nice, but for me, it is not. It's a problem! I really do listen to others' opinions, so I can't decide on something quickly. While I make a decision, I ask my friends their thoughts. Then, of course, I hesitate and time marches on. During that time of hesitating, I am the most capricious person in the world. Well, I do make a decision, but after giving reasons to every single opinions. It takes much longer than others and I get stressed by thinking that I am behind others. Although I know that it is a stressful thing to concern all the ideas of others, I keep doing that. I think it's because of the environment I grew up in, that every adults says "Listen to others". Well, when I think about myself, first I think of what others would think about me.
Hello, I'm Yun you jung and I'll give you some comments based on the guide in our book.
ReplyDeleteFirst, the title is "Listening to others", and I can guess what you are through it. And your topic sentence, "I really do listen to others' opinions, so I can't decide on something quickly." also show about yourself well. It have the topic "I", and controlling idea "listen to others' opinions". Also, you give an example about when you make a decision with your friends. However, It would be better if you add some detail on this example like what the decision is about. And, I think it can be better to change the sentence "Well, I do make a decision, but after giving reasons to every single opinions." to "After giving reasons to every single opinions, I finally do make a decision." Your concluding sentence restate the topic of your writing well. Thank you for your nice writing! See you in the next class:-)
To Jiyoung Jang From Minju Yeo
ReplyDelete1. What I liked about this piece of writing is that I could feel your anger of your characteristic.
2. Your main point seems to be that you listen to others so well that you take too much time to make decisions.
3. The word that struck me powerful was "It's a problem!" Because I could understand your feeling since I'm a wishy washy person too.
4. A sentence that wasn't clear to me was your first sentence "If I live in the world that everybody says something about me"
I think you should fix this sentence more clearly. "Something about me" -> something to me
5. The one change you could make to improve your writing is to write some more details. I could understand what you are saying but it would be better if you add some of the anecdotes or stories.
Hi, I'm Yeonju.
ReplyDeleteIn the paragraph, you are mainly talking about the problem of your personality. You are not good at decision making and capricious. And you are saying that you tend to listen to others too much. I could find this from the sentenses : "I really do listen to others' opinions, so I can't decide on something quickly." and "During that time of hesitating, I am the most capricious person in the world."
I like the last sentence " Well, when I think about myself, first I think of what others would think about me." That's because I could see how you understood your personality and why you think the problem caused. There isn't any direct adjective that repeats the problem but, I think, this is the clearest sentence that includes what you wanted to say.
But still, I am not sure what is the main point of your writing. there are several expressions that you use to describe the problematic personality: "Some people might say listening others is nice, but for me, it is not,"-- I think in this sentence you are talking about you are dependent.-- "hesitating", and "capricious". But you didn't give any specific example.
Thus, I think you should improve your paragraph, with some experience that shows your indecisive personality.
Thank you, and see you!
To Jiyoung Jang From Minju Yeo
ReplyDeleteI'm Jae-Hun Lee and this is my feedback for your writing.
1. What I liked about this piece of writing is this part: "but for me, it is not. It's a problem!" I can feel your needs.
2. Your main point seems to be listening to others' opinion.
3. I think it will be better if you show more specific example or story in your real life situation.
Thanks and see you next week!