A person that I admire
I want to introduce a 'Light' in my life. It has two meanings. When I was in 19, who has to have a exam to enter university, there was a teacher who was bald in my high school. It means he had a light in his head. He shined students with his head. So his nickname was 'a light teacher'. Also, he had shine in his mind. As a Korean teacher, he did his best to teach us well. He was always in school to protect and help us to study day and night even without rest -even a national holiday like Chu seok and Sul etc. he did everything to apprise us of information on university. When holiday, he planned to make food like Dduk-bok-I, Bu-chim-gae and soup. He gave us such food and we ate those gratefully. He had a thick eyebrow. So when he smiled, it downed with his mouth up. It seemed that his mouth and eyebrow meet each other like Mask Ha Whae. His smile made me happy and warm. He tried to do his best not for himself but for us. In short, his head was light and his mind was also shining. I think I will not meet such a good teacher in my life. He will be the first and n.1 light in my life.
Hello, You Jin! I'm Jeong Hyen Joo, and this is your comment. First, it was really interesting that you used 'light' when you described your teacher. Because I had a same teacher like yours, I could understand what you tried to explain. I think your topic sentence is 'I want to introduce a ‘Light’ in my life’. But it’s too common way to introduce your writing. It will be better if you use more brilliant ideas when you start your paragraph. Although there weren’t many adjectives that described your teacher, I could understand what he looked like because of the specific word ‘Light’. I think your concluding sentence is ‘I think I will not meet such a good teacher in my life’. I could feel that how much you like him. It will be better if you use more descriptions about your teacher to make your writing more interesting, and detailed.
ReplyDeleteA person that I admire
ReplyDeleteWhat is your own light in your life? I want to introduce a 'Light' in my life. It has two meanings. When I was in 19, who has to have a exam to enter university, there was a teacher who was bald in my high school. It means he had a light in his head. He shined students with his head. So his nickname was 'a light teacher'. Also, he had shine in his mind. As a Korean teacher, he did his best to teach us well. He was always in school to protect and help us to study day and night even without rest -even a national holiday like Chu seok and Sul etc. he did everything to apprise us of information on university. When holiday, he planned to make food like Dduk-bok-I, Bu-chim-gae and soup. He gave us such food and we ate those gratefully. He had a thick eyebrow. So when he smiled, it downed with his mouth up. It seemed that his mouth and eyebrow meet each other like Mask Ha Whae. His smile made me happy and warm. He tried to do his best not for himself but for us. In short, his head was light and his mind was also shining. I think I will not meet such a shining and devoted teacher in my life. He will be the first and n.1 light in my life.