It was when I went in a Korean restaurant that I met the worst waitress. I and my friends went there to eat bean paste stew and soft tofu stew. We had a delightful time before entering this restaurant. And when we got in, a waiter welcomed us and led us to a table. We sat there, we chose what to eat and waited for him to come and take our orders. But, a middle-aged woman came to get our orders. She was very rude to us. Her way of speaking was rough and she didn't use honorific. We were the customers, anyway! I felt like she thought us as young girls and treated us as if we wouldn't be concerned about her behaviors. And when we asked for more side dishes, she let the plates slip on the table, which made noises. We were very displeased. I think there wouldn't be workers like her, who look down on students or someone younger. Waiters are people employed in the service industry and they have to be friendly to all of the customers. Not only the taste of the food, but also the way they act make consumers agreeable. Even thought the stews were perfect, we decided to never go back to this restaurant again.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Youn Hee KIM/The worst waiter/Mon 9-11
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I forgot to post the title!
ReplyDeleteThe title is : The most inattentive waitress to customers
Hi, Youn Hee. This is Yeonju.
ReplyDeleteThe topic of your writing is the worst waitress you've met in a restaurant. You gave examples of her rudeness: she didn't use the right words for the customers, and she almost threw the side dishes. I think the examples and description was detail and even persuasive. You have effective topic and conclusion sentences. Your topic sentence, the first sentence of the paragraph, indicates what you gonna write: your experience with the worst waitress, and conclusion sentence, the last one, restates and empasizes your feeling about her again.
But I think it's better to seperate the fact description part and from emotional part. Now you are showing the situation that you felt irritated and express your feeling spontaneously. But if you show us the situation first, and then tell us how you felt later, it will sound more logical and well-organized. I like the sentence "Waiters are people employed in the service industry and they have to be friendly to all of the customers." because it gives us the logical reason why you felt upset when you met this woman. So, I would like to suggest that, after describing what happened first, put this sentence with restatements that she was not a professional waitor, and say what you felt. What do you think of my suggestion?
Thank you and see you in the class!
Hi, this is Dana from your writing class!
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked about your writing is that your choice of words. It was easy to understand and sympathize with you. I could sense your anger towards the waitress.
Your main point seems to be that waiters should be polite to all the customers. I agree with you. I believe that they should act appropriately no matter who the customers are.
I liked the part where you said "Waiters are people employed in the service industry and they have to be friendly to all of the customers." It sounds very logical and strong.
There wasn't any words or parts that I couldn't understand. Your descriptions were simple and nice.
The one thing that you can do to improve your writing is to give more details about the situation. You mentioned that she was speaking rough. How roughly? What did she say exactly and why did it made you feel offended? Maybe adding more details like this would help your writing to be much better.
Good job and see you in class!:)
It was when I went in a Korean restaurant that I met the worst waitress. I and my friends went there to eat bean paste stew and soft tofu stew. We had a delightful time before entering this restaurant. And when we got in, a waiter welcomed us and led us to a table. We sat there, we chose what to eat and waited for him to come and take our orders. But, a middle-aged woman came to get our orders. She was very rude to us. Her way of speaking was rough and she didn't use honorific. I couldn't see any consideration toward us. Maybe that day, she felt in a bad humor. But however harsh her day might be, she wouldn't have show her personal feeling. We were the customers, anyway! I felt like she thought us as young girls and treated us as if we wouldn't be concerned about her behaviors. And when we asked for more side dishes, she let the plates slip on the table, which made noises. We were very displeased. I think there wouldn't be workers like her, who look down on students or someone younger. Waiters are people employed in the service industry and they have to be friendly to all of the customers. Not only the taste of the food, but also the way they act make consumers agreeable. Even thought the stews were perfect, we decided to never go back to this restaurant again.
ReplyDelete