(Introduction to Academic Writing (1)) Mon.12Jon H. Bahk-HalbergPark Jae Hyun(박재현)201101411 Due date: 2012/4/26 Topic: an example paragraph about a good physician
Noted doctor
There is an old saying in Korea; a real doctor cures not only the illness but also the heart of human. There was an old man who passed away in 1995. His name is Jang Gi Ryeo. His life was full of ups and downs considering his life spanned from 1911 to 1995 which includes the fiercest part of modern Korean history, the colonial era and Korean civil war. He was born in northern part of Korean peninsula, now a territory of North Korea and happened to leave his family there after the war only fleeing to south with one of his son. He graduated medical college in Seoul in 1928. During that time he was one of ten Korean men who had medical degree from all over Korean peninsula. It is clear that he could have comfortable life but, he decided to sacrifice his life for poor people as he pledged before entering into medical school. During Korean civil war in Pusan city, he treated about one hundred poor patients per day in tent not wearing gown but running shirt. These people would never see doctor's face in their lives because there were too poor. After the war he kept his good deed. There is a well known story. Many times he told patients who already recovered but did not have money to pay to run away at the midnight from hospital not paying. He dreamed of the world where every people can get a treatment for free. In order to achieve this, he established medical insurance in 1979 which is 10 years before government started general medical insurance. More than two hundred thousand people benefited from it. He kept treating poor patient even half of his body was paralyzed because of cerebral infarction. He said that when doctor treat patients with affection the doctor can work as a needed person until the end of his/her day. Although his fame was high he stayed small rooftop house at the hospital not even owning a house in his 60 year career as a doctor. He left nothing under his name at the end. I see many high school students or other people who studies really hard to enter a medical college to make a lot of money after graduation. I'm not sure whether they can be a great doctor. |
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Jae Hyun Park/An example paragraph about a good phyisican/ 9am
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Hello, this is Yun you jung.
ReplyDeleteI like your introduction starting with an old saying. It make this writing more interesting, and it let me know what you will said. I also like your flow. You describe a doctor as a story, not as a list. Althougs your text is longer than other people's, I can read fast.
Your main point seems to be a doctor who lived for poor patients. I can know this throughout your writing.
And I like sentence "He kept treating poor patient even half of his body was paralyzed because of cerebral infarction.". In this line, I can feel how much he care about patients, and feel the sense of duty.
But I'm confused when I see 'there were too poor' in the lines 'These people would never see doctor's face in their lives because there were too poor.'. Seeing it one more time, I guess that you were about to say that 'as these people were too poor, they never saw doctor's face.' If what I guess is same to your intend, I suggest to change 'there were too poor' as 'they were too poor.' Also, I think the last sentence is out of your topic. If you change this sentence, like 'But it would be much harder to become a doctor like Jang Gi Ryeo.'
I also heard about him before, but I almost forgot him. Thanks to your writing, I can remember his greatness and the life for other people.:)
Thank you for your writing, and see you in the class!
(Introduction to Academic Writing (1)) Mon.12
ReplyDeleteJon H. Bahk-Halberg
Park Jae Hyun(박재현)201101411
Due date: Drat2
Topic: an example paragraph about a good physician
Great doctor
A real doctor cures not only the illness but also the heart. There was one man who passed away in 1995. His name is Jang Gi Ryeo. He was born in 1991 and he had to confront harsh colonial era and bloody Korean civil war. During that time he was one of ten Korean who had medical degree from all over Korean peninsula. It is highly likely that he could enjoy comfortable life, but he decided to sacrifice his life for poor people as he pledged before entering into medical school. During Korean civil war in Pusan city he treated roughly one hundred poor patients per day in tent not wearing a gown but a running shirt. These people would never see doctor’s face in their lives. After the war he kept good deed. He told poor patients many times to run away at the midnight from hospital not paying charges. So like this, he dreamed of the world where everyone can get a free treatment. What is more, he was not just a talker he was doer. He established medical insurance in 1979 which was 10 years before government’s general medical insurance. More than two hundred thousand people benefited from it. Even though half of his body was paralyzed due to cerebral infarction he kept treating poor patient. He said that when doctor treat patients with affection the doctor can work as a needed person until the end of patent’s day. Ending his 60 year career as a doctor he left nothing under his name. He stayed small rooftop house at the hospital. I see many people who studies hard to enter a medical college just for money and comfortable life. They can be called a good doctor only considering skills, but I’m not sure whether they can be called a great doctor like great doctor Jang Gi Ryeo.