When you look over your calendar and recognize that your friend's birthday is coming up, you would start to think over lots of things for her present. Sometimes, even if you thought it over thousand times, your friend doesn't like the gift. For these who doesn't satisfy her friend with a gift, I recommend my way choosing a special gift. First, consider her interest. For example, although my friend is majored in language, she wants to be a stage director. So I thought something that related to the stage would be good for a present. Second, think what she needs. A gift becomes special when the receiver thinks it is worthy. For my friend, she needed an encouragement for her dream. So I chose a present that can encourage her. Finally, check the price tag. You don't want her to have pressure on your present. If you don't want to mess up the relationship with her, think about the price. Because I am a student, from 10000 won to 20000 won was appropriate range for me. So I chose a book about stage management. When I gave it to her, she liked it alot. She thanked me for supporting her dream. When you choose a special present for someone, think 3 things - necessity, interest, price tag.
Hi this is MinKyong from the class.
ReplyDeleteYour topic seems to be your way of choosing special gift for someone. Your whole paragraph is showing the sequence to think about when buying a gift for a friend. I can use your idea of buying a gift! You used imperatives in a proper way.Putting some more modals into your paragraph might make it better. Anyway, what a nice piece of writing!
Thank you for your work! See you in the class!
Hi, this is SunGyung Kim and this is my comment on your paragraph.
ReplyDelete1. Does the topic sentence tell what the task is? Yes, your topic sentence is good. shows that you will tell readers about the way of choosing appropriate present for others.
2. Does the topice sentence contain a controlling idea? Yes, your topic is choosing a present and the controlling idea is special tips you want to give others. However, it is somewhat distracting to have two additional sentences prior to the topic sentence.
3. Do the supproting sentences include a sequence of steps that give detailed information, background details, and the tools needed for the task? Yes, and I really liked the way you gave all the details. They were appropriate for the paragraph and helped my understanding.
4. In your paragraph, what I liked the most is that you made every semi-topic sentence in each three senction. This was really creative and helpful to readers.
5. In terms of imperative sentences, it seems you used them appropriately, and thus these made your paragraph stronger.
7. the concluding sentence in this paragraph is perfect. It really concludes your ideas and help readers organize all the steps.
Sometimes, even if you thought over your friend's birthday gift thousand times, your friend might not like the gift. For these who have not satisfied her friend with a gift, I recommend my way choosing a special gift. First, consider her interest. For example, although my friend is majored in language, she wants to be a stage director. So I thought something that related to the stage would be good for a present. Second, think what she needs. A gift becomes special when the receiver thinks it is worthy. For my friend, she needed an encouragement for her dream. So I chose a present that can encourage her. Finally, check the price tag. You don't want her to have pressure on your present. If you don't want to mess up the relationship with her, think about the price. Because I am a student, from 10000 won to 20000 won was appropriate range for me. So I chose a book about stage management. When I gave it to her, she liked it alot. She thanked me for supporting her dream. When you choose a special present for someone, think 3 things - necessity, interest, price tag.
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